In The Shadow Of Memories
by AmberDoodle87
Summary: In the wake of personal disaster Madilyn Kelly is looking for a brand new start. If only someone warned her the new start she seeks would include supernaturals, and a dark family secret. An Eric Northman/OC story.
1. Chapter 1: So It Begins Or Maybe Ends

**Author's Note: Hello all! So here I am again, with a new story. I thought with 2012 I would get better about not starting stories when I all ready have so many unfinished ones, but this one. This one just wouldn't let me go. So explanation. This is a True Blood story. I started this story about two months ago or so. This was when I had only watched one full season, that being season four. Never read the books, and never watched any other season. As of now, I've watched all seasons, and am currently on the second book of the series. So if there are mistakes, or anything a little far fetched, this is why, and I truly hope you'll still give it a chance despite this is coming from someone who doesn't know much. A HUGE THANK YOU to my best friend for always supporting me, no matter what crazy adventure my stories take us on. ILY! Onto In The Shadow Of Memories. As always Read/Enjoy/Review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter One: So It Begins…Or Maybe Ends…<strong>

" _The funny thing about things ending, there always seems to be a beginning to follow it…" -Anonymous._

Desperation.

Desperation is the only word I can use to describe why I'm doing what I'm doing. I mean, it would have to be nothing short of an act of desperation that has me packing my apartment up in the middle of the night.

That has me preparing to move under the cloak of night, from Los Angeles, the only city that I've called home my entire life, to of all places Shreveport, Louisiana.

It had to be fate. That's the only explanation that seemed to fit. On the day I get the divorce papers in the mail, that I would also find the deed to the house that my grandmother left to my parents, who in turn left it to me upon their deaths. Couldn't be just coincidence.

I stare around my apartment, and it hits me. How empty that it all seems in here now, and it isn't the lack of furniture that has the crushing blow of loneliness threatening to knock me onto my ass.

No.

It's the lack of Him.

Him who I gave my life too. Who from the time I was sixteen was all that seemingly mattered to me. Him, whose ring I've worn, and continue to wear on my finger, from my eighteenth birthday to now. For six years I've been anchored to him. Six years of my life thrown away.

For what?

For him to leave me for a vampire, that's what! What good is she to him anyways? She can't go out with him during the day? Hell, she sleeps underground, so unless he's planning on putting a king size bed down there with her, he wont even be able to lay next to her when she sleeps! He'll never feel her heart beat…

" Bet you think I'm just going to fall apart over you, don't you?" I murmur, staring down at one of few remaining pictures of Him, and riding the wave of grief and anger I throw the framed photograph across the room. Satisfied by the sound of the glass shattering.

" Well, shit, just another mess of pieces to pick up," Payton's voice comes from the door of my bedroom, and I turn to her, rolling my eyes.

At five seven and a hundred and thirty pounds my best friend doesn't sound intimidating, but add a mix of staggering beauty and a no-nonsense attitude and she's just that. Long, wavy black hair flows over her shoulders, and thickly lashed green eyes smile at me as she carries another box from the room, putting it on top of the growing stack by the front door.

" Madi, you really need to stop letting him get to you. If you don't then that means he's won."

" Your only saying that because you think just because I'm leaving L.A that I'm running away," I say, shoving my hands into the back pockets of my jeans.

" Well, yeah, I guess that is what I think. Why should you have to leave? So what if that no good cheating bastard of a husband left you for the first piece of vampire ass that didn't laugh in his face, or nearly kill him, that's no reason to leave the only place you've known as home," she says, scowling as she scribbles on an empty box.

" That's only part of the reason I'm going Payton, and you know that. I just, I can't stay here. I need a new start, a fresh start. With people who don't know me," I say, folding a sweater into the box, " I need a clean slate."

" You do understand that in Louisiana they have bugs, and I mean more than just lady bugs and June bugs right?" she says and laughing I nod my head. No use trying to stop her, she's on a roll, " And gators. They have alligators, and I don't mean shoes either. And I don't want to get woken up in the middle of the night because you decided to go for a late night swim and found yourself swimming side by side with one of those bastards."

" I get it Payton, but you aren't going to change my mind."

" Yeah, Payton, leave her be. I think its great that she's brave enough to go it alone," Jared suddenly speaks up, poking his head out of my bedroom, where he's been busily breaking down my bedroom furniture.

His stunning blue eyes shine under a cap of black hair, matted to his forehead thanks to the sweat that he's worked up.

" Thanks babe, really. You were supposed to be helping me talk her out of going, not lighting the fire under her ass."

" Sorry, love. Please, Madi, don't go, we will be oh so lost without you," Jared's sarcasm puts me at ease, with a roll of my eyes I toss a towel at him and turn back to finish my packing.

* * *

><p>One thousand, six hundred and twenty five miles.<p>

That is precisely how far I'm running to get away from the things that haunt me here. The memories of what was, and what will never be. I decided to stretch the trip into two days, since the movers wont even reach my new house for three days, I can take my time.

Who knows maybe along the way I'll get the answer as to why my life is seemingly falling apart around me. As if I'm that lucky.

A girl can dream though.

I close my eyes on that thought, and fall into the familiar dream.

_Beautiful. _

_That's the only word to describe the blonde man staring at me from across the room. His eyes, carrying a hint of seriousness, and a lot of mystery, and I feel the hum starting in my blood. My pulse jumping erratically in the hollow of my throat. _

_Music blares around me, as I find my body hypnotized by the seductive beats, and I dance through the crowd, weaving and winding until I'm in the center of the crowd, arms raised above my head. Then I feel him, more than see him. _

_A change in the energy around me. Almost electric, even as his arm snakes around my waist, his lips a breath away from my ear. _

" _You shouldn't tease me." _

_I hear the danger in his voice. Warning ringing bells of alarm in the back of my mind, but I ignore them, because here, here is where I feel like I finally belong. _

" _Madilyn, I've been waiting for you." _

_A flash of blindingly white fangs pierces through my subconscious, and I scream myself awake._

Hot water flows, cascading over my skin as I brace my hands against the walls, head bowed. I stare as the water circles the drain, reassuring myself that there is no blood there.

No blood at all.

Just the sweat from the relentless nightmare washing away with my favorite honeysuckle and citrus peel shampoo.

" Losing my fucking mind," I mutter to myself, snapping the water off. With a towel wrapped snugly around my body, I wipe a shaking hand over the mirror and stare at myself.

I look the same. Blonde hair falling to my waist, as my eyes stare back at me.

' _Unique eyes, like your mother's, and her mother's, and her mother's mother,' _the voice of my father floods my mind, and I shake my head. Of course, those were the only words of comfort he could think to give me when I was just eight years old and came home crying after being called a freak.

Then again, it is an oddity for someone to have two completely different colored eyes. Even in L.A.

Of course, once I hit high school and took biology I knew that it wasn't uniqueness. It was complete heterochromia, often times a genetic trait handed down that makes people stare.

You'd think I sprouted a second head by the way some people look at me, but at twenty four I've gotten used to it. As well as I've gotten used to the people who assume and accuse me of wearing contacts.

Right, like I'd seek the attention my genetics has handed me.

Not on my life.

* * *

><p>' <em>Don't forget. Today's our last day together, no flaking.'<em>

I stare at the text message from Payton and smile, shaking my head. As if I could flake. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, Payton would track my ass down and make sure I never heard the end of it. And that my friends, would be an endless hell in and of itself. Pulling a bottle of water from the fridge I text her back, reassuring her that flaking is not on my agenda.

' _Better not be. I have a day full of fun planned for us. See you in fifteen.' _

I jump, dropping my bottle of water onto the floor, and with a slight curse step over it towards the front door.

" Payton, I thought you said you were going to be here in fifteen minutes," I say pulling the door open, only it isn't Payton on the other side of the door. No, not Payton at all. Sea green eyes stare at me, seriously, and I block the opening of the door.

" Madilyn."

" What the hell are you doing here?" I demand, my hand tightening on the door and I fight the urge to just slam the door in his face, but I don't. Because that would be childish, and I refuse to let him make me act or feel any more childish than he all ready has.

" I just came to pick up a few things," he says trying side step me into the apartment but I block him.

" No."

" What do you mean no?"

" The agreement says you will not come into this apartment until after I leave. I don't leave until eleven tonight, so no. You cannot come and pick some things up."

" Don't be such a bitch, Madi, its just a few things." I quirk and eyebrow at him, a smile fluttering on my face.

" Do you really think calling me a bitch is going to make me want to let you in? You read the agreement, you signed the agreement, now just turn your cheating ass around and go on about your day, doing whatever it is that you do. Shouldn't you be sleeping? I mean don't you work off _their_ hours nowadays?" I ask sarcastically, refusing to budge from my position.

" Yeah, well, I haven't slept in a few days. Madi, please, I just need…"

" I think Madilyn said no. Now if I were you, I'd leave like she asked you too, or I will be more than happy to rip your face off, your choice," Payton's voice floats from the hallway and I smile, tilting my head as I stare at him. His whole demeanor changes. Tension filling his shoulders as his body goes rigid, eyes filling with anger tainted fear. His forehead creasing with frustration under shaggy brown hair.

" Payton…"

" You do know I have Jared on speed dial, he'd be all too happy to come kick your ass for me, not that I need the help."

" That wont be necessary. I'll go. Madi, be safe okay? I mean, I know we didn't end on the best of terms, but I still worry…"

" Don't bother. You broke me, I can't get much worse from here," I watch, slightly amused by the way he walks around Payton, his back tight to the wall to avoid any sort of contact with her, truly terrified that she'll make good on her threats to cause bodily harm.

" So, you ready to go?" she asks, snapping back into the usual happy, upbeat Payton that I know and love, and with a laugh I nod my head and grabbing my purse happily link my arms with hers and off we go.

* * *

><p>I knew she was stalling. Payton isn't very good at stalling subtly, and as we stand by my car, she shuffles her feet, kicking lightly at the pavement beneath her feet.<p>

" I really have to go now," I say at last, my voice breaking the silence that had settled around us.

" No you don't," Payton says, and I smile pulling her in for a hug. Nobody warns you, growing up, just how hard saying good bye is. Payton and I have been attached to each other's hips from the first day of kindergarten, so the idea of not being with her nearly twenty four hours a day seven days a week, is breaking my heart.

" I do. I have to go. I wish I didn't…there…there just isn't anything left for me here anymore."

" I'm here…"

" You know what I mean. Besides, its not like we'll never see each other again. I told you, as soon as I get settled, you and Jared can take a couple weeks, come down, see me. Nothing's going to change."

" Everything's going to change." The gravity of her statement hits me, and I bury my face in her shoulder, barely holding onto my emotions.

" We've been through it all Payton, a little distance isn't going to change anything, I promise. We have email, cell phones, and Skype," I reassure her, even if the reassurance is more for myself.

" You better Skype me, every night, I'm not playing with you Madi, and the second you get into Louisiana you better call me."

" Yes Mom," I joke lightly, " Tell Jared I said bye okay? I promise I'll drive safely. You take care of yourself."

" Always."

" Forever."

I watch from the rearview mirror as Payton grows further and further away, and once I can't see her I let the tears come. I have two days of driving, and hopefully once I get where I'm going the tears will be done.

Hopefully.


	2. Chapter 2: Dream Meets Reality

**Author's Note: Chapter Two! I have up to Chapter Eight. So I'm going to post them all and wait to see what people think!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two: Dream Meets Reality<strong>

" _Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before."-Edgar Allan Poe _

Arizona.

New Mexico.

The MASSIVE STATE OF TEXAS that seems to be never ending.

That's all I can think as I stifle yet another yawn, fingers drumming on the steering wheel as Paramore pours through the speakers. Nearly two days of driving, and aside from a backside most certainly numb from endless hours of sitting, and more caffeine coursing through my veins than should be allowed by law, I'm bored out of my head.

I mean honestly, how big can one state be?

I look down at the GPS and with a silent hallelujah realize I have just an hour and a half more of driving before reaching my destination. There are miracles. As for the whole, soul searching, trying to figure out why my life is going to shit on the drive to what is to be my new home, still coming up empty on that end.

What if I'm just not supposed to know the answer? If the saying _'everything happens for a reason,' _is in fact just that. A saying. With no real meaning behind it. Just something people say when there is no other explanation for the multitude of fucked up things that can happen at any moment.

I mean, that seems plausible.

One minute I'm married, mostly happy, if not a little restless, and next thing I know my husband is moving out and I'm getting served with divorce papers.

What could honestly be the reason behind that happening? Other than to prove to me that fairy tales do in fact not exist, and that happily ever after I was promised from every childhood story and movie is just another let down.

Wow, do I sound cynical or what?

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><p>Fifteen miles.<p>

Fifteen miles until I can stretch out on the blow up mattress that will serve as my bed until my furniture comes in, and after the obligatory call to Payton, I can sleep. Really sleep. Hopefully without the intrusion of the nameless stranger that's been plaguing my dreams as of late.

Lights blur together as rain pelts the windows of my car, and I smile. I love rain. The way it smells, the way it feels. What's not to love? I roll the window down and nearly laugh when the drops hit my skin.

Suddenly a chill runs through me. The kind of chill you get when you know something bad is going to happen, and I roll the window up, my heart suddenly hammering in my chest. I've been here before. At least that's how it feels. Like I've seen this stretch of freeway, heard this song playing. I ignore the feeling and take my exit, disoriented for a moment when it becomes darker suddenly, street lamps growing further and further apart.

" Shit," I mutter, my hand scrambling over the passenger seat for the glasses I hate wearing, and just when I get a grasp on them, the world spins out of control.

* * *

><p>What is that noise?<p>

Sounds like gurgling water and choking, where is it coming from? I open my eyes, vision doubling, then tripling and I realize, like a punch to the stomach, the sound is coming from me.

It's mine.

My body moves without my consent, shockwaves of pain coursing through me and leaving me nearly breathless as I try to understand what happened. My mouth fills with the metallic taste of blood , and I sputter, knowing that it's splashing with every cough, mixing with rain and tears as I try to call for help.

Nothing comes out.

No sound but the sickening gurgle.

I'm dying.

I know it. I feel it. Body growing weak as I lay on the ground, lost somewhere between consciousness and delirium. As good as dead at twenty four. I can just see the headlines now.

Damn, I should have stayed in L.A. That thought probably would have been enough to make me laugh if every single part of me didn't hurt.

" Over here…she's over here…" the voice is distant and watery and I blink my eyes furiously, trying to figure out where its coming from, who its coming from.

" Oh God Bill, she's almost dead…" another voice, feminine, and full of sympathy.

" Move," a new voice. A familiar voice. A shiver of fear races up and down my spine, and with eyes wheeling around in my head I fight to understand, " You'll do her no good Bill. My blood's older, will heal her quicker. Besides, your taken, do you really want another tie to a human."

" Sometime today Eric…"

My head lifts from the ground, and I stare almost unable to make out the face, " Your going to have to drink." I open my mouth to speak but instead I cough, blood splattering over pale skin, and to my horror, or as close to that emotion as I can get in the state I'm in, the stranger licks his lips, almost smiling as the drops of my blood disappear from his lips.

" Mmm. Looks like I'll be doing some drinking of my own." His voice is like velvet as he lowers his lips to mine, his tongue all but lapping at the precious blood that used to sustain me that fills my mouth, " Now drink."

The sound of flesh tearing frightens me, and I clamp my lips closed, trying to shake my head.

' _No. Dear God, no!' _

" Eric stop!"

Its too late though, the girls plea for the man to stop seems to fall on deaf ears as he presses his wrist to my lips, and with a growl of frustration he pillows my head in the crook of his arm and pinches my nose, forcing me to open my mouth to breathe, and he fills me. His blood pouring into my mouth and I'd spit it out, only to my dismay I don't want to. It's inviting. Intriguing. Delicious. With a muffled whimper I close my eyes, and forget.

* * *

><p>" <em>Shouldn't she be awake by now…" <em>

" _Maybe we didn't get to her in time…"_

" _I just don't understand…she should have woken up by now…" _

The voices around me are muffled, sounding far away and I try to dive deeper into the safety of the darkness, because the closer I come to the surface, the more pain I feel, and I am not a fan of pain. Not a fan at all.

" _The bruises haven't even faded.." _

" _Are you sure you gave her enough, Eric? I mean, she passed out just a few seconds after you…" _

I groan.

So, it wasn't a dream. I had hoped desperately that that particular part was just a dream. I can handle whatever it is that happened to me, but the idea of, of Vampire blood coursing through me, sincerely makes me want to throw up.

" Shh. She's waking up," the girls voice says, and I open my eyes slowly, blinking cautiously against the dim lights.

" Can you hear me?" the girl asks and I move my head, her face swimming into view. Her blonde hair is pulled back in a tight ponytail, worry and curiosity mixed on her face.

' _Well, she doesn't look like some backwoods hillbilly. She's actually kind of pretty…' _I think to myself, surprised when she laughs.

" Your funny."

" I. I didn't say anything," I manage to say, and her eyes grow wide, shaking her head.

" Right, of course you didn't. I. I can. I mean to say that I can…"

" What my not so eloquent friend is trying to say is, she can read minds, and apparently what ever it is that your thinking is tickling her fancy…" a voice to my left says and I turn my head slowly, finding a man sitting beside me, long legs kicked up, crossed at the ankles as he stares at me, though I cant see his face, it's hidden in the shadows.

" Right. Okay. I must have suffered some brain damage, that's it. Because people can't read people's minds, and yeah, okay. I'll wake up in the hospital any minute now. Any second now, I'll wake up. Wake. Up. Wake. Up. Wake. The. Hell. Up…"

" Your right. She is funny," he says, coming forward in his chair, and my heart starts racing. Fear and confusion racing through my body. I feel the tears now. Clouding my eyes as I lay, watching the familiar face flicker with curiosity before becoming completely blank.

" No. No. No. It was all a dream. You. You aren't real," I cry, closing my eyes tightly.

" What's wrong, honey, what's wrong?" The girl asks, and I shake my head furiously, not doing much to help the dizziness.

" He's been in my dreams…"

" Understandable. You drank my blood. It tends to give people, dreams…"

" No. Before. He's been in my dreams for months…"

" Months? How can that be? Eric, have you seen this girl before?" a new male voice fills the room, and suddenly all eyes are on Eric, the blonde man whose face I've seen a million times before now, and he grows serious for just a moment, before a slow smile spreads on his lips.

" I prefer filling my dreams with prettier humans. You should take her wherever she's going Sookie, I need sleep."

* * *

><p>" I'm pretty sure I can walk," I say for the millionth time, more to myself than to the two people waiting for me.<p>

" It really would be easier if you let Bill carry you," Sookie says, and I grit my teeth. Not that I have anything against Bill really. I don't. I just hate the idea of being helpless.

" Nothing against you Bill, but I really can do this on my own," I say getting to my feet, and for a full second I stand proudly on my own before swaying, and thanks to Bill's Vampire speed, an unsettling ability, albeit handy one that saves me from my face smashing into the cold concrete floor, I'm swept up into his arms.

' _Can this possibly get anymore humiliating?' _I wonder to myself, and as if the powers that be just live to make my life as difficult as possible, I slap a hand on Bill's shoulder and he stops walking, and with very little ceremony I turn my head and throw up all over the floor.

Yeah, it just got more humiliating.

I sit in the car, shivering as I stare at the house before me. It's beautiful, really. Nothing like what I had cooked up in my head that it would look like, and I wonder how it is that my parents never brought me here. Why they would never venture into Louisiana.

The first time I heard of this house, I was a little girl. Nanna was begging for my parents to let me come for the summer, and my Mother was all for it. My father, on the other hand, down right refused. Every year my Nanna would ask, every year my Father would say no. Even after her death when I was sixteen, my parents wouldn't let me set foot in Louisiana. Despite the fact that Nanna requested burial here, rather than her homeland. My father wouldn't have it though. Saying it was only right that her body be sent back to Ireland, so she could be buried next to her husband, but my mother, my mother got so angry. Saying how wrong it was for him to even suggest to go against her mother's wishes.

In the end it's safe to say my Mother won, and I was left in California to mourn the loss on my own.

Of course, I knew Nanna lived in Louisiana most of my life, most of her life actually, only moving to L.A and into our home when she became too sick to live on her own. For hours, while I laid in bed beside her, she would fill my head with stories of her home in Louisiana, the pond in the backyard that would all but come to life at night with the sounds of fairies. Strange right? Fairies. However she was Irish through in through, so things such as fairies and leprechauns were much discussed in her presence.

Only, I made this move assuming that the house would have fallen into a state of disrepair over the years, since it's stood vacant for eight years. Yet, its pristine. Standing beautifully in the night.

" You live here?" Sookie asks, looking at me skeptically from the front seat.

" I do now," I murmur, looking back at her.

" Your Bridget Kelly's granddaughter, Madilyn right?" she asks and I nod my head slowly, looking at her.

" Yeah, how did you know?"

" She was friends with my Gran. She'd talk about you, all the time," she says, and with a sympathy in her eyes she brushes a hand over my shoulder, " I'm sorry about her passing."

" It was quiet. In her sleep. She was at peace, my parents though…well never mind. Thank you, both of you," I say, pushing out of the car.

" Madilyn," Sookie calls after me as I make my way slowly to the front door, " We should get together some time, I mean if your up for it. I live over in Bon Temps. I can come by in the next few days, see how your doing."

I contemplate for a moment. I can tell all ready that a lot of craziness follows Sookie around, after all she's basically attached to a vampire's hip, and she has the misfortune of knowing Eric, but I'm basically alone here. In a new place, and she played a pretty big role in saving my life, so why the hell not?

" That would be nice. Good night Sookie, Bill…" I wave, watching as they pull away and turning let out a sigh.

Welcome home.

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><p>A shower was just exactly what I needed. Least that's what it seems like since the ache that had been nagging seems to have disappeared since I let hot water pour over me until my skin turned pink. I found myself puzzled by the fact that the belongings I had had in my car, somehow ended up waiting for me against my front door, but I decided to not think anything of it.<p>

Thinking to much at this point would probably prove to be a mistake. After all I should be dead right now. Laying in the county morgue and making my way to whatever after life there is to be waiting for me, only I'm not.

Thanks to vampire blood.

Eric's blood.

The thought of him sends a shiver through me, and I refuse to think that it could mean anything good. After all, he not only insulted me, but he made his apparent and utter disdain of me, and the human race well known. With his cool demeanor, and infuriating ego.

Ha! As if I want to be in his dreams. Just because he somehow wandered into mine, absolutely in no way makes me wish that I somehow find my ways into his. I pull my brush through my hair, trying to forget about him.

Easier said than done sadly.

It sounds strange, but I saw something in him. Like a flicker of understanding, recognition when our eyes finally met. Crazy. I must be crazy. I would surely remember meeting someone like him, and I know he'd remember, since Vampires have an insanely good memory.

Maybe I wasn't crazy though. Maybe it's the fact that I've been through so much in the last six months. Divorce. Moving. Near death experience.

That's it.

A near death experience is enough to drive anyone to the brink of their sanity.

I feel it then. The chill. Dancing up my spine, and I turn slowly, shocked when I see a face outside of the window, and as quickly as I blink it disappears.

It's official. I'm insane.

* * *

><p><strong>Eric's POV<strong>

I knew the day would come.

I should have known the second I smelled her blood. I have smelt something like it only once, even then it wasn't as potent as hers. I lick my lips at just the thought of it, fangs dropping down instinctively and I have to center myself again.

Of all times for this to happen, it had to be now.

" Well, the human seems to be doing well. Though I don't know why you care so damn much, she isn't much to look at…" Pam's bored voice fills my ears and I wave her off, ignoring her sarcasm.

" You will keep an eye on her," I say, pulling my shirt over my head before falling wearily onto my bed.

" Whatever you say. I just don't understand," she says, her arms coming around me, " I thought you swore off humans after Little Miss Sookie…"

" I don't owe you an explanation," I say, catching her wrist in mine, squeezing just hard enough to be sure she understands that what I say goes.

" Fine."

" Go to ground Pam.."

" But I thought you wanted.."

" Do I have to command you?"

" Fuck. Good night Eric…you know you wouldn't be in such a shitty mood if you would get laid, and feed on someone worth it…"

" Ground now, Pam," I all but growl out and in a flash she's gone, leaving me alone with my thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3: What If I Don't Want To?

**Chapter Three: What If I Don't Want To? **

" _It's not that I don't want to do it. It's just because you want me too so much that I don't want to do it. Just to piss you off."-Anonymous._

* * *

><p>The dreams woke me, and the fear of said dreams reoccurring I refuse sleep. So what if my eyes burn. Or my head swims from the fatigue. Instead I find myself walking the house, mentally placing furniture. I open the windows, letting in the cool February air, smiling at the smell of rain. For the most part, the house lays empty, except for what I guess could be called the sunroom.<p>

This is all ready my favorite room in the house. Floor to ceiling bookcases line one whole wall, filled with so many books that call out for me to clean their dusty covers and lose myself in them. Yet, as enticing as the books are, it's the piano in the center of the room that captures my heart.

I blow the dust off the top, running fingers over the keys, and sitting down, I feel like I'm home. I hesitantly press my fingers to the keys, expecting to find an instrument in sore need of being tuned, only it's beautiful. The sound that pours out drawing a smile as my eyes flutter shut.

Music for the majority of my life has been my solace. The one place I could turn and without question it welcomes me in its embrace. Comforting. Peaceful. Love. I lose myself in the moment, letting the music carry me wherever it chooses to go.

_Everything is bathed in the pale light of hundreds of candles…the scent of roses and jasmine dancing in the air and as the flames flicker, I smile. Music coming to life under my fingers, and I know he's here._

' _Your late…' my voice trickles out through the undercurrent of the song, and I smile, turning my face into the palm of his cool hand._

'_Sorry love. I had…business to attend too…'_

' _I'm sure you did…was it the brunette or red head business tonight…'_

' _You know you're the only one who has my heart…'_

' _Yes, of course, a heart that doesn't beat…my life is complete….'_

' _Madilyn…please…'_

' _Please nothing. I can't live like this, I wont…I deserve more…I deserve better….'_

' _You belong to me…'_

' _I belong to myself…to nobody but myself…and definitely not you…never to you….'_

I jump at the sound of something crashing onto the hard wood floor, heart racing rapidly in my chest.

" I'm so sorry," Sookie says and I smile, pressing a hand against my heart, taking a deep breath, " I knocked but you didn't hear me. Suppose it was the music, hey are you okay? Your crying."

I lift a shaking hand to my face and find my fingers wet from the tears that roll down my cheeks. I brush them away, nodding my head.

" I'm fine. I just…got lost in, well, I'm not sure," I murmur, confusion settling in. I've had similar dreams before, but never did they make me cry. Or my heart to ache in my chest.

" A dream, maybe?" she offers, cautiously settling down next to me on the bench.

" How did you know?"

" It's what happens, when you drink vampire blood. You have dreams. Vivid dreams, and it creates, a connection, between the human and the vampire. It can be…unsettling. Especially since their mostly about sex."

" This one wasn't. The one's before it were, but this one. This one, I feel like my heart was being ripped out of my chest…"

" Your different. I got the feeling last night, but its stronger now. Kind of nice to know I'm not the only one…"

" Different how?"

" You're the first person I've ever seen leave Eric unsettled. Well, aside from me maybe, and there was the small incident with him losing his memory and all…"

" Wait, what?"

" Never mind, it's a long story. So, where'd you learn to play like that?" she asks, quickly closing herself off to the subject of Eric, her head motioning towards the piano.

" Oh, uh, my Mother. She played, and she taught me."

" Did she sing as pretty as you too?"

" What? How did you know I sing?"

" You were singing when I came in…" I blink slowly, struggling to remember, " Madilyn?"

" What? Oh, sorry. Uhm, my Mother, well my Mother sang, but I guess I always excelled at it. My Dad would say that I was born to sing…though I don't do it much, anymore."

" Hmm. Well, what are your plans for the day?" she asks, and I look around.

" Other than waiting for the movers to get here, nothing. I should have slept more last night, but I, I couldn't and the movers wont even be here until this evening."

" Well, I can always keep you company."

I know she's trying to be nice, southern hospitality and all that, but part of me wonders how smart it is on my part to be with her. Not that there is anything wrong with Sookie really, it's just I can tell she's the kind of girl who doesn't go looking for trouble, but trouble just somehow seems to find her. I can tell this about her, because I'm that kind of girl. I'm the kind of girl who trouble just seeks out and messes with. Really in this moment of my life, I'm not entirely sure I need anymore trouble.

Yet, looking at her, seeing the way she just sits and smiles, waiting for me to give her some kind of answer, I all ready know I'm going to say yes.

" It's okay if you'd rather have the time to yourself to settle in, it's just. I can use a little stable in my life, and you seem pretty stable."

I can't help but laugh. Loudly in fact, so much so that she jumps in surprise.

" I'm sorry. It's just…I am the farthest thing from stable that there is…"

" You have a vampire boyfriend too?"

" No, just an ex-husband…" I barely choke out, wiping my eyes, " I'd love it if you stayed Sookie. Oh and call me Madi…all my friends do."

* * *

><p>Turns out staying home, and with Sookie as company turned out to be a pretty good idea, since the movers arrived much earlier than they had said they would. Which would be the reasoning behind me sweating like it's a hundred and ten degree's in the middle of February. Should have figured the moving people would just dump the stuff and take off.<p>

However being the independent, modern women we are, we don't need men to help. Not at all. So what if I've chipped nine of my ten nails, and most likely strained my back moving the furniture with Sookie. Fact is, in a little over four hours we've gotten it all done.

Aside from unpacking my boxes, which I will gladly do on my own after a bubble bath and glass of wine.

" I am exhausted," I say, dropping down onto the black leather couch, but before Sookie can agree or disagree with my statement, her cell phone rings, and she answers stepping out of the room, leaving me to my thoughts. I lay my head back eyes closing slowly.

_I step out of the shower, steam billowing around me._

' _You really should have waited for me Madilyn…I would have washed your back..' Eric says, appearing behind me in the mirror, his fingers trailing down my naked back and I smile turning my head to the side, lifting my face to his. I sink into the kiss, enjoying the feel of his teeth nipping gently at my lips, the feel of need that lights a fire in the very core of me._

' _Mmm, well, I waited for as long as I could. Then I started having dirty thoughts of you, and needed to shower….'_

' _You really shouldn't tease me so much…' and in a flash of indefinable speed I'm lifted up, legs circling his hips, arm circling his neck as he steps back into the shower._

" Madi…" Sookie's voice shocks me out of the vivid dream, and I wake with the heat of embarrassment painting my cheeks.

" Sorry. Sorry, I uh…"

" You don't have to explain. I've been there…am always there it would seem. Anyways, that was Bill. Seems Eric is summoning you to Fangtasia…"

" To where?"

" The club he owns with his progeny…"

" His what?"

" Shoot, sorry, I forget that you don't know everything about this stuff, uhm, well a progeny is kind of like a child. It's what they call the people that they change, their progeny."

" Well, thank you for the lesson, but last time I checked, this is still America and I have rights, and that includes refusing someone's summoning. Who summons nowadays anyways? What is this? 1482?"

" You can't refuse him. Eric's the sheriff."

" Your kidding me. He's a cop?"

" Well, in the vampire world, I guess that's how you can look at it…"

" It's a good thing I'm not a vampire then isn't it. Look Sookie, I'm glad that you stopped by today and kept me company, it was really great, but I will not now, nor will I ever go to see Eric, summons or not."

" I know it must be pretty new for you, dealing with vampire's and all, but Eric, he has a way of getting what he wants, so it might be in your best interest if you just go."

" Fine, but you know what I'll go when I'm damn good and ready. He can wait. Will you be there tonight?"

" Unfortunately, yes. I'll see you there?" she asks and I nod my head and she hugs me quick and hard before she leaves. I stare after her. I knew it. I knew hanging around with that girl was just asking for trouble.

* * *

><p>I wasn't kidding with Sookie when I told her that I would take my time getting to Fangtasia. Fangtasia? What kind of name is that for a vampire club? A little obvious if you ask me, a rookie attempt at a play on words. That doesn't matter though, however comical I find the name of Eric's club, the fact is I'm pissed that I've been summoned.<p>

Even more pissed that I'm actually getting myself ready to answer to him.

Can you imagine? Me, answering to him, as if I'm some sort of loyal underling.

' _So why have you spent thirty minutes on your make up, and wont just choose a damn outfit all ready?'_ the voice in my head taunts, and I roll my eyes finally deciding on my favorite little black dress. Even though I know I will have to wear heels, which only doubles my risk of breaking my neck while walking, however this dress just screams for the heels. Besides, the heels add a few inches to my five foot even stature, hopefully making me look less than a child.

Hopefully.

" Shit," I mutter, closing my eyes once I'm dressed and ready to walk out of the door, only to remember that sadly my car is no longer with me. In fact, I don't even know where my mangled vehicle is at the moment, most likely sitting where it had landed after the accident, and with a groan I dial information for a taxi, all the while swearing that Eric will pay the cab fare.

After all he's the one who summoned me.


	4. Chapter 4: Shaken

**Chapter Four: Shaken**

" _Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."-Ralph Waldo Emerson. _

* * *

><p>For a vampire club, Fangtasia is kind of plain looking on the outside. Must be something special for there to be a line stretching halfway across the parking lot. Handing a wad of bills to the cab driver, I push out into the cold air. At least it isn't raining.<p>

" Madi, there you are. I was worried you weren't coming," Sookie calls, walking towards me, and I smile letting her hug me.

" I told you I'd come," I murmur, and much to the anger of the waiting people she drags me through the line and into the establishment. It's dark. That's the first thing I gather. Dark, with flashing lights as people press together on the dance floor, filling the tables, linger by the bar. Most of them are human, I can tell. By the air of desperation that I can sense all around me.

Desperation to be taken home by a vampire.

I'll never understand it. Ever.

" He has a fucking throne," I say, shaking my head, as I find Eric sitting on a throne surrounded by women vying for his attention. Yet he shrugs them off with as much ceremony as a horse shrugs a fly off its ass with a flick of their tale.

" Uh, yeah. You'll get used to it," Sookie calls over the noise.

" Doubt it. Since this is the only trip I plan on making to this place, I wont have to grow used to it."

" Hey, where are you going?" Sookie calls out as I turn away from her and towards the bar.

" I'm getting a drink. He wanted me here, I'm here. If he wants to talk to me that bad, he'll find me," I say, smiling at the look of bemused shock on her face.

I've never been a big drinker, but under serious circumstances of stress and duress, a glass of wine always serves me well. To steady the nerves. To help me relax. That's exactly what I need now as I study the glass of chardonnay in front of me.

I manage to snag a table towards the back. In the dark I find myself slowly relaxing, tense muscles loosening as I sip at my wine, watching the people around me. Bill and Sookie sit close together, heads bent towards each other and I find myself envious. Somehow Sookie's managed to find what most people want in a relationship for their whole lives and never manage to find, and what's worse, she's found it with a vampire.

" Eric wants to see you," a bored voice comes out of nowhere and I search the darkness finding the owner of the voice. She has long blonde hair, and to kill for leather boots. Perfect considering she's wearing all leather anyways. Fiery red leather, that looks more like a second skin than actual clothing.

" Your point?" I ask in an equally bored tone, happily mimicking her.

" The point is you don't keep Eric fucking Northman waiting," she hisses in my face and I smile slowly as realization settles over me.

" Ahh, you must be Eric's, what is that word again? Ahh that's right, bitch. Pretty sad that big bad Sheriff Eric Fucking Northman has to send his bitch to fetch for him," I say, and in an instant I know I've let my mouth run too much.

How do I know?

Because I'm currently pinned up against the wall, Pam's hand wrapped tightly around my throat as she slowly cuts off my oxygen.

" Now listen to me you worthless piece of flesh, I don't know what Eric see's in you other than marginal good looks and that sassy fucking mouth of yours, but do not cross me. That would be the worst fucking mistake of your life."

Another hand reaches for me, cold skin trailing over my cheek for just a second, and as I start slipping out of consciousness, scenes flash before my eyes. Scenes too real, like I lived them, been in them before. Only its impossible, because it isn't me I see. It's my mother.

And Eric.

It's Eric.

Just as soon as I start panicking against the flash of whatever it is that I'm seeing, spots start popping in front of my eyes as Pam loosens her hold, and I slide down to the floor, gasping for air, and I feel sick. Literally sick, like I can vomit at any second, and if I do, hopefully its all over Pam's shiny black boots.

" Pam. Basement. Now." Eric's voice comes out, dangerously low.

" But she said.."

" I don't care what she said. It's bad for business for a human to be cornered and attacked by a vampire in this club, by the co-owner at that, even if the human had it coming."

" Fine. Remember what I said Bitch, do not cross me again."

" Well, you must have really done something to set her off, Pam usually doesn't waste her energy on humans like you," Eric says, his eyes level with mine before he straightens himself out and offers me his hand.

Is this guy for real? Does he honestly think that those words in any way make me feel better, or makes the pain of a nearly crushed larynx go away?

" I," I choke, coughing brutally, " I don't give a fuck. Stay…the…hell…away from me."

I dash through the club, pushing against throngs of people and I don't look back, even if Sookie calls my name.

* * *

><p>I sit in the bottom of my shower, knee's pulled to my chest as I try to stop the shaking. I can't though. I can't stop the shaking. No matter how hot the water is, my body still jerks, almost as if I'm frozen to the bone. It isn't so much that Pam scared me. It honestly isn't. It was what happened, when I started slipping towards unconsciousness. The flashes of memory, only they weren't my memories I was seeing.<p>

It was my mothers. Only that makes no sense, because my Mother never knew Eric. She never mentioned him. Did she? I search my own memory, trying to find out for myself, but there's nothing. I can't remember any moment where my mom may have mentioned Eric. Ever.

I cry into my knee's because I know something isn't right.

Something just isn't right.

" _What the fuck is wrong with me?" _

* * *

><p><strong>Eric's POV<strong>

She looked good. I had sincerely hoped she wouldn't, even though I knew she would. She was beautiful, a tight body with surprising curves filling out the pretty black dress just right. Skin like cream and roses.

Tempting.

Her smell fills me as I pace her porch.

Things hadn't gone exactly as I had planned tonight.

Then again, I haven't met a human quiet like Madilyn Kelly before. Not even my short lived encounter with Sookie compares to what I feel thrumming through me now that Madilyn's is here. All wit and sarcasm. There's something else though. I know it. I feel it whenever I'm near her.

I knock loudly, and finally the door swings open.

The bruises are blooming, smudges of dark blue and black against her skin, and her eyes widen in fear when she sees me.

" What are you doing here? Come to finish off what your progeny started?" she asks, her voice barely a whisper.

" No."

" Then go away."

" Something happened. When I touched you, something happened…"

" I don't know what the fuck your talking about, now go, away," she hisses and I have to admit her feistiness is appealing.

" You do know what I'm talking about, I can sense it. I can sense a lot of things about you Madilyn. You have secrets. Deep, dark secrets…" I say and with no ceremony at all she slams the door in my face.

Well, that went well.

* * *

><p><em>Madilyn's POV<em>

I refuse to sleep. Shaken to the very core of my being of what I will see if I shut my eyes, so I sit in the sun room, staring out of the window, wondering what the hell I've gotten myself into by moving out here. I jump, letting out a scream when my cell phone rings, and laughing at myself I answer.

" Madilyn Grace Kelly, why the hell didn't you call me when you got there? Do you know how worried I've been? I was ready to come down there myself to check on you," Payton's voice rings through the phone and I smile settling down onto the window nook.

" I'm sorry Payton, I was just, busy," I say, pulling my knee's back up to my chest staring through the window.

" Busy. Busy she says. For all I knew you were laying on the side of some road out there in backwater country dead or dying."

The closeness of that statement drags a laugh from my lips, and before I can reassure her something catches my eyes. Something in the shadows of the back yard, and I get to my feet keeping the phone pressed to my ear.

" Hey, let me call you right back," I murmur and on a flow of curse words on Payton's end I hang up the phone, and pull open the door.

" Hello," I call out, walking slowly down the steps of the deck, " Hello? Eric I swear to all that's holy if your still here I'm gonna…"

" Gonna what?" a deep rumbling voice asks, and I turn finding myself standing face to face with someone unfamiliar. Anger ripples off of him, almost palpable, and I'm scared. Downright terrified.

" Wh..who are you?" I demand taking a shaking step backwards, only I run into a wall of flesh, strong arms wrapping around my body, and before I can scream a fist brutally rams into my stomach, knocking the wind from me, and I would've crumbled if it weren't for the fact that I'm being held up.

" She wants to know who I am Darius…what do you think? Think I should let her in on the secret?"

" Don't see why not Dmitri, she's gonna die anyway, so she aint gonna tell nobody…"

The blows keep coming. Fists, feet, teeth and I scream, trying to draw any sort of attention to me.

" You can thank your Grandmother for this. For all of what's happenin' to you, what's gonna happen to you," the one called Dmitri says, and I'm pinned, a strong arm coming around my throat holding me to the damp grass, and my eyes wheel when I hear the sound of a belt unbuckling.

" No…please don't….somebody help me!" I scream, legs kicking against invading hands, and then everything stops. It goes completely silent, except for the sound of tearing flesh. I roll onto my side, blinking slowly through tears and blood to figure out what or who stopped the brutal scene playing out in my backyard, and then he's there.

Eric.

He bends down, effortlessly lifting me into his arms, and I labor to breathe.

" Madilyn…" his voice swims through my head, " Madilyn you have to invite me in…"

" Please…come…in…" I manage to rasp out before giving in to the call of darkness.

* * *

><p>" Wake up…Madilyn, I know you can hear me…wake up…" Eric's silky voice beckons me and I open my eyes slowly, groaning when I see his face. Then I gasp. The pain hits me, like a freight train, battering my nerves with wave after wave, " Drink.."<p>

" No," I struggle the best I can against him, turning my head from his bloody wrist. Anything but that, dear God, anything but that.

" Let me help you…" he says, and I hear it then. The sense of urgency and agony in his voice, and I look at him, eyes swimming. His face is taught with concern. Perfect pale skin creasing with worry.

" Why do you care….I'm…I'm nothing to you…" I whisper, and he smiles just softly.

" Your far from nothing. Drink…" he moves quick, his wrist coming to my lips and I drink. I want to drink. To taste him again. To feel his very essence sliding through my body, " Now sleep."

* * *

><p>I wake in the early morning sunlight. Jolting upright as the last of my dream rolls off me, and I know someone's here.<p>

" Your awake," Sookie says lightly from the window nook, her voice carrying relief.

" How long have I been asleep?" I ask, finding that I don't quiet feel like myself. I feel achy, and stiff, like I slept for much longer than I should have.

" Two days."

" Two days? What the fuck happened?" I ask, and she comes closer to me, sitting on the edge of my bed.

" There's a lot you don't know about yourself isn't there Madi?" she asks, and I blink at her, unsure of what to say, or to think.

" I, I don't know what your talking about."

" You don't yet, but you will. There's something you should see," she says, helping me out of my bed. I have to give it to the girl, what she lacks in height, much like myself, she makes up for in strength. Her arm comes around me as I shuffle alongside her, down the stairs.

" Wait, wait. Can we, can we stop. For just a second?" I ask, my lungs burning and she nods her head helping me into an overstuffed wide backed chair.

" Yeah, I'll just bring them to you," she says, and I watch as she walks from the room.

She hasn't slept. I can tell by the dark smudges under her eyes, and I wonder what would have her so worried over a stranger like me. I shiver, that simple act making pain course through my body, and, with a little determination in my head I reach for the blanket folded and sitting across from me.

I barely brush the quilt, and feel like I'm being sucked away. To a different time and place.

_All I feel is love. Overwhelming love. So much so that it threatens to swallow me whole. A soft voice sings, a quiet lullaby and I watch as Nana walks a crying baby, and she looks young. Not young enough for the baby in her arms to be my mother, but young enough for it to be me. _

_I can't make out the words she saying, but I can see the tears. Her eyes brim with them as they roll down her face, and I feel the grief. Right down to the bone as my father comes into the picture, and his face is solemn as he takes me from her arms and walks away. _

" Madi?" Sookie's questioning voice breaks through the memory and I gasp a breath in, sitting against the chair shaking, " Are, are you all right?"

" I. I don't know," I murmur, shaking my head slowly, " It was real. It was so real. She was there, with me in her arms." I know I must sound crazy to her, because hell, I can't believe half the crap coming out of my mouth, but it's the truth. I saw it clear as day right in front of me.

" I really think you need to look at these. Eric found them," she says, and she places a bundle on my lap, and I stare at it before looking back at her.

" Eric was here?"

" He was. He stayed until dawn before going to ground, but he was here all through the nights that you were, away."

" Why? Why would he stay? Why would he protect me? I'm, I'm only a human. Nothing more."

" Your more than just human Madi. Do you want me to stay?" she asks as I start to unfold the cloth on my lap.

" No. You should go. I'm sure you have things to get back to."

" All right. I'm really glad you didn't die Madi." I watch as she starts gathering her things, and just as her finger hit's the doorknob I call out to her.

" Hey Sookie, thanks, for well, everything."

" It's no problem. It's what friends are for."

I stare at the book on my lap, a plain thing really. Red leather cover with words written in a language I do not understand or recognize, and I run my fingers across them. Part of me is telling me I shouldn't open the book. That by opening the book I'm going to open a whole side of me that I'm not ready for, but curiosity, curiosity has me lifting the cover.


	5. Chapter 5: Pieces of the Puzzle

**Chapter Five: Pieces Of The Puzzle**

" _The truth is rarely pure and never simple."-Oscar Wilde. _

* * *

><p><em>March 4, 1987<em>

_They left today. Patrick, Brenna, and precious Madilyn. Moved away, seeking refuge in Los Angeles. Away from this place, and the people in it. I will never forget the pleading voice of my Brenna, begging me to come with them. I refused of course. I will not run from what I've discovered here. _

_I wish that Brenna wouldn't have run either. She has to know that no matter the distance her promise will not, cannot be broken. Not that I think she was wrong for making the promise she did. Any mother would have. _

_I did all I could, to be sure that Juliana would be safe, and I pray that what little I could do will be enough to ensure her the chance to grow up and learn the way. _

_~Bridget_

_Dearest Madilyn, _

_If your reading this, then I have left this world before having the chance to tell you the truth. To explain the changes you will be experiencing, and before I could help you understand. You are extraordinary Madilyn, and I fear that your father's refusal to see it, has greatly stunted your growth. _

_Everything you believe to be myth is quiet the opposite. It's all very real. Fairies, were-beings, demons, and vampires are as real as you and me. _

_Your ancestors, my ancestors, and the one's before them were once revered. We were the ' Memory Keepers.' Sadly, over time, our kind was all but wiped out do to greed for our abilities, or the fear of pathetic men swearing we were mere witches doing parlor tricks and the devil's work. I had wished to help you hone your ability, but as I said before your father put an end to any and all plans I had formed with your mother to teach you all that I know. To prepare you._

_Do not harbor anger towards him, dear Madi. For he is just doing a father's job. It's true dear one, you live in a most trying time, because with my passing, and what I fear will be your mother's untimely end, the lineage is handed to you, and to you alone. Once I am gone, your mother will grow stronger in her ability, and when she passes, yours will awaken within you. There is no set time line. It may come the moment your mother takes her last breath, or it may not come for years. For all of us it comes at different times. _

_In these books I leave behind you will find all of the answers you will be seeking. Know this Madilyn I love you, and I will be with you. Always with you. _

_All my eternal love, _

_Nana. _

_P.S Trust me, and Trust Eric._

I stare at the pages, tears rolling thick off my face, plopping onto the pages in my lap, and my head swims. I don't understand much of what was written. Not much at all, but what I do understand is that for the majority of my life I was lied too. Something inside of me was hidden away, and before I could be given any sort of explanation I was left alone.

Completely alone.

The books slide off my lap as I get to my feet, and I try to think. To wrap my head around everything that's happening, but I can't. Because it doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense. I take a few steps, before collapsing to the floor, curling into myself as I cry it all out.

_I open my eyes slowly, finding myself in bed, laying next to Nana. Her curled fingers brush through my hair, and I take a deep breath, drawing her in. Lilac and honey. Comfort. _

" _Oh Nana," I cry into her shoulder, trying to be careful. She's so frail now. Cancer ravaging her body, weakening her more and more every day. _

" _Shh, there, there now my precious Madilyn, why are you crying?" Nana asks, and I lift my face to hers, knuckling away the tears. _

" _I'm so alone, Nana. I. I don't know what to do." _

" _Oh what is this? You are never alone Madi, never, ever alone. I'm with you always." _

" _But you aren't. You aren't with me. I am alone. Momma and Daddy are gone, and so are you. Now, now nothing makes sense to me, at all. I'm scared. I'm scared of what you say I am, I'm scared of starting over, I'm scared…I'm scared of…" _

" _She's scared of me," Eric's voice slips through the room, and before I can scramble up he's sitting on the other side of the bed, staring at me. Serious eyes scanning my face, and I can see into them, to the very depths of who he is, and I'm afraid. _

" _Oh dear heart, you don't have to be afraid of Eric. You shouldn't fear him. He is your anamchara. Go now love, its time to wake up." _

" _Wait, he's my what? Nana? Nana!" _

My eyes open slowly, and I have perfect sight of the front door from where I lay on the floor. It's getting dark outside, which tells me I must have been asleep for a while. Exhausted by seemingly endless tears, and though I carry some comfort in me from my dreams, I feel it ebbing away, as another onslaught of tears begins.

The dream helped nothing. Just showed me that I am still very much alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Eric's POV<strong>

My eyes snap open from the dream, and I feel her pain. Deep, dark, ugly pain. All snarling teeth and all too happy and willing to swallow her up.

Madilyn.

I stand in the shower, more out of habit than actual need and as the hot water pours over my head I know I'm not alone.

" Did you find anything out?"

" No. The one who got away from you the other night wasn't exactly, willing, to talk," Pam's bored tone fills the spacious bathroom, and I turn my head looking at her. Over the years Pam and I have been a lot of things, but now I look at her like a father would look at their daughter. Her legs are crossed, and she studies her blood red nails.

" Where is he?" I demand, snapping the water off before reaching for a towel, wrapping it securely around my hips.

" By now? On his way to the digestive system of a very hungry alligator."

" Damn it Pam. I told you I wanted him alive," I growl, and she rolls her eyes, hopping off the counter.

" I would have gladly dragged his mangy ass to the dungeon as you asked, if he hadn't pulled a stake on me." I stare at her, and with a reluctant sigh decide that getting angry over this setback just isn't worth the time.

" Fine. You'll have to hold down the bar on your own tonight."

" Why?"

" Because I fucking said so."

" Your going to her aren't you? Did you learn nothing from your time chasing little Miss. Sookie Fairy Fucking Princess Stackhouse? Humans aren't good for you!" she proclaims angrily.

" Sookie was weak," I growl, pulling a shirt over my head.

" And this bitch isn't?"

" You tell me Pam…she was able to get under your skin pretty quick. So quick in fact that you almost killed her in a crowded bar."

" You call her inability to shut the fuck up strength?"

" I don't know. Guess I'm going to find out. Your on bar duty, and Pam, try not to kill anyone."

* * *

><p><em>Madilyn's POV<em>

It's unsettling really, to be able to sense someone before actually seeing them. I don't want to open my eyes, because I know I'll just be staring into his, and that is something I want to avoid entirely.

" Madilyn…" Eric's voice trails over my skin, bumps raising and against my better judgment I open my eyes. He stares at me, and for a second I swear I see a flicker of nervousness. Like he isn't sure what to do. Or say, " How long have you been laying here?"

" I don't know. All day I guess," I murmur, my voice barely a whisper.

" You need to get up. Eat."

" You don't get to tell me what to do," I snap out, feeling a small flicker of the girl I was just a few days ago find its way back to me, and as quickly as she's here, she's gone again. Leaving me to feel the same ball of emptiness in the core of my being. Guess that's how you feel when you don't know who you are anymore.

" Looks like someone is finding themselves again," he says, and I watch as he reaches down to pick me up but I shrink away making him freeze.

" Don't touch me, please," I beg, and he tilts his head as if he's debating within himself. Before I can stop him he touches my face, large hands holding me in place.

_I feel the cold first, a snap in the air that has me shivering viciously, but the view takes my breath away. The ocean rages, crashing against the shore. Winter's in the air, and I smile, the smell of salt and sand washes over me, comforting in a way I can't explain. I've never in all my life seen anything so beautiful. I sit, watching as nature does what nature does. _

_That's when I see him. A little boy running, his laughter filling the air as he plays. He's beautiful. So stunningly beautiful, filled with the innocence only a child knows. In disbelief I watch when he approaches me, eyes shining brightly and I realize I know those eyes. Those blue eyes. _

" _Madilyn…" the boy speaks my name._

" Madilyn, Madilyn," Eric's voice fills my head and I blink, clearing my eyes and he looks stunned. Like he isn't sure what just happened. To be honest I don't know what just happened either.

" What happened?" I ask, and he sits back on his heels, his own eyes clouding over and I'm struck numb when a single bloody tear starts trailing down his face, " Eric?" I reach my hands out to him, feeling my heart breaking inside my chest. It's like I can feel his pain. Every ounce of it coursing through me.

" Don't touch me," he growls out and he raises his hand to ward me off only I'm all ready too close to him and the movement has his hand connecting with my face. My head snaps back, and the force of the blow sends me sailing backwards across the hardwood floor. My hands come down instinctively to stop myself. A miscalculation on my part, since that serves no purpose but to bruise the palm of each hand.

I catch my breath, closing my eyes to steady myself and with aching hands and shaking fingers I touch my lip, only to find blood oozing from a clean split.

" Madilyn…" Eric says, and I lift a hand shaking my head.

" I'm fine," I say, and before he can stop me I get up and leave the room.

* * *

><p>Truth is I'm not fine. My chests aches. Not from anger. No, not anger. Hurt. Plain and simple hurt. Like someone simply shattered my heart into a million different pieces. I shut myself away in the bathroom, locking the door behind me and sliding against it I cry. I clap my hands over my mouth, to stifle the noise but it doesn't work. My chest heaves with my sobs, and I'm mortified when I hear fingers tapping on the door.<p>

" Madilyn, please," Eric's voice is almost pleading but I ignore him. Instead, I crawl to the bathtub and snap the water on, satisfied when the sound of rushing water drowns out the sound of my tears.

_My breath hitches when I feel the cold fingers trailing down my stomach, soft touches trailing over my ribs, teasing my hips. My back arches as I grasp the scarves fastened around my hips. Every inch of me aches with need. Need to touch him back. To put my hands on him. Feel all of him. To make him grow hard, and revel in the fact that I can do that to him. Me. Plain Juliana, can make heartbreakingly gorgeous Eric Northman feel need and want._

' _Now whose the tease?' I pant out as he fixes his lips to the sensitive skin above my pubic line, and I try not to shudder against him, but that isn't possible. Everything about him awakens me. Lighting a fire inside of me. One that burns so hot I fear I'll simply burn up from the inside out. _

' _Payback lover. For all the times you'd let me only look and never touch. Never…taste. I'm going to taste you now, every part of you. Your lips," Eric whispers huskily, pressing lips to mine, _

" _Throat. Breasts. Stomach…." I gasp when his fingers snake under the flimsy silk of my panties, and his dark, lustful laugh courses through me. _

I wake on the bathroom floor, staring into an all too familiar set of blue eyes mixed with curiosity and humor.

" You have some very…intense dreams," Eric muses and I roll my eyes groaning as I sit up.

" How would you know?" I ask, refusing the hand that he holds out to me.

" I see them," he states so nonchalantly that it takes a second to sink in.

" You see my dreams?"

" Sure do. See them. Feel them. Seems I've had a starring role in them for a while," he says cockily as I splash cool water over my face, " I wouldn't mind showing you my many…talents."

* * *

><p><strong>Eric's POV<strong>

I felt bad. Something I don't often feel. What's the use of feeling bad about something you do? It's not like feeling bad about it is going to take back what you did. But bad is how I feel nevertheless. I never meant to harm Madilyn. Never meant to strike her in that way.

I was caught completely off guard by her ability. Seeing her eyes completely black out as if ink was poured over them and then we were gone. As if transported through time and space, to a place I once knew as home. A place I once loved. I thought I had wrapped my head around her capabilities, only I hadn't at all. I never knew.

I tap on the bathroom door, the unmistakable sound of tears dancing through and I groan, resting my head against the wood. I've never felt this. This, whatever this is that I feel for the girl on the other side of the door, makes what I thought I felt for Sookie pale in comparison.

" Madilyn…please…" I say, and I'm met with silence before the sound of water rushes to greet me, and I know I can easily rip the door from the hinges, but instead I think I'll sit and wait. Even if it takes all night, though I don't really relish the idea of having to hightail it back to Fangtasia, racing against the rising sun.

I resign myself to sitting against the door. How long can one person cry, anyway?

Madilyn's dreaming.

Of me.

Again.

I see it play out for me, feeling everything she feels, and with a little finesse I manage to get into the bathroom. Madilyn lays on the floor, head turned to the side, her tumble of thick blonde hair fanning out around her head, pulse hammering wildly in her throat, and I lick my lips. Hunger and need burning in my throat.

Her eyes flutter open, and as soon as they clear I smile at her.

" You have some very…intense dreams," I muse, holding my hand out to her.

" How would you know?" she asks, bypassing my hand as she pushes up on the bathtub getting to her feet.

" I see them."

" You see my dreams?" she asks perplexed and I smile lightly. I forget that she's new to the whole vampire-human blood bond.

" Sure do. See them. Feel them. Seems I've had a starring roll in them for a while," I say, and maybe I sound cocky, but hell I only speak the truth. I watch as she splashes water over her face, and I want to reach out and brush the droplets from her skin, just to feel her warmth, " I wouldn't mind showing you my many…talents."

I watch her, body freezing for a moment before turning towards mine. I take her appearance in. A long sleeved shirt hangs mid-thigh, and if it weren't for the glimpse of tiny pink shorts I got earlier, I'd speculate that she was naked under it. She lifts a hand slowly, her palm resting over my un-beating heart.

" But, Eric you seem to forget something," she says slowly, pushing to the tips of her toes, and since even that doesn't do much to add to her tiny stature I bend down, her warm breath fluttering against my skin as her lips come close to my ears, " I have no intention of going anywhere near your many talents."

She slips under my arms and walks away humming.


	6. Chapter 6: Trifecta of Freakishness

**Chapter Six: Trifecta of Freakishness**

" _Lately, something here don't feel right, this is just a half life…"-Half-Life by Duncan Sheik_

* * *

><p><em>I think it best to start from the beginning, and Madilyn I ask that you read all the way through. Start to finish. Don't skip over anything, and believe me I'll know if you skipped.<em>

_I discovered what I was when I was just seven years old. My father, your great grandfather, passed away suddenly, and left our family in devastation. My mother and father married when they were just sixteen, and my Mother hadn't spent more than a work day's worth of hours away from my Father. It broke her. Broke her spirit. My once lovely and joyful mum was transformed before my very eyes into a cold, unfeeling shell of who she once was._

_Six months after my father's death I was sitting in my room, curled on my bed crying, weeping the only way a child knows how to. I was missing him. Missing everything about him. His big booming laugh that would fill our small cottage, the way he'd strike up his fiddle, the look on his face when he would spin my mother in a whirling dance. I was remembering it all. In the midst of my tears I reached for a doll he had gotten for my birthday and when my fingers caressed the material of her dress. I was gone._

_Taken away from my room and plopped down in the middle of a far away memory. I was terrified. Ecstatic. Confused._

_All emotions I imagine you feel now._

_When I told my mother, her eyes lit up. It was like my words brought the warmth back into her. So then she taught me, what I will hopefully teach you._

_I started here to make you see. It's been tracked through our ancestry that our abilities come at great times of distress. Great times of loss. So now you know sweet Madi, that you aren't a late bloomer, or somehow inept. Simply, it means your life was without great loss for what I hope was a long and peaceful time._

_~Nana_

I set the book aside, rubbing tired eyes. I've read and re-read the same page so many times that I'm almost certainly have it memorized. Of course I would have moved onto the following pages if it weren't for Eric.

Eric who sits stoically in front of me, elbows propped on his knees, fingers bracing his chin as he stares at me. As if he's waiting for something. I try to continue ignoring him, but it's hard when I can sense his feelings. All of them, filling my head. Some barely a whisper, while others are so loud it's a miracle my head doesn't simply explode from the pressure.

" Will you stop that?" I ask setting the book aside, meeting his gaze.

" Stop what?" Eric asks, and I roll my eyes at his purely unbelievable innocent voice.

" Your staring."

" Is that a crime?"

" No, but most find it rude. Why are you here anyways, don't you have a bar to run? Delusional females to tease and drink from?" I ask, pulling my legs up, resting my chin against them.

" Pam's seeing to it."

" That still doesn't answer my question. Why are you here?"

" I have nothing better to do," he answers so blandly that I find myself growing furious. Furious because I don't understand how he can sit and pretend he doesn't feel. Why should he be able to hide things, when I feel so damn exposed. Rather than snap at him, I lapse into silence.

Silence is welcoming. Doesn't expect anything, and adds nothing to the shit ton of weight that's suddenly found its way onto my shoulders. However, there is really only so much silence I can handle. What I would give to have Payton here right now. To sit and tell her everything. To hear her say that no matter what we'll find a way to work through it. To know someone, anyone, cares.

I feel my throat thicken at the idea of my far away best friend, and I turn my head to the side, refusing to let Eric see my tears. Though it doesn't really matter that he can't see them. He can feel them. Damn it.

" Why did you come here?" Eric asks so suddenly that his voice startles me and I look up at him, brushing the few tears away.

" Well, long story short, I had nothing left in L.A. My life pretty much fell apart at my feet and I wanted a fresh start. Had I known I would be thrown into this mess, I would have thought twice before coming." I answer, even if I leave out the messiest parts. The parts dealing with HIM.

No use letting him in on that dirty little secret.

" There's something else.." his voice carries an edge and I stare at him, a cold wall coming down, surrounding me.

" Don't. It's none of your business Eric."

" It is when I can feel it."

" That's not my fault! It's your blood making that happen!"

" Would you have preferred I left you to bleed to death on the highway?" he demands so gruffly I wince, " Or let those werewolves have at you? Because I guarantee our little blood bond is a cake walk compared to what they would have done to you." I know he's right. Believe me I've thought of the possibilities.

How Payton would react getting the phone call that I died in a car accident, just like my parents. Or how the news of an attack on a newcomer to Shreveport would serve as nothing more than gossip mill fodder. Wait a minute…did he say werewolves?

" Werewolves? That's who attacked me?" I ask, suddenly becoming fully aware of everything. The sound of the rain dancing on the roof, the way my breathing sounds as it grows rapid. Nana wrote in her journals that were-beings were very real, but I'm still just trying to come to terms with the whole _'Memory Keeper,' _status that's been handed to me, let alone all the other freaky supernatural's creeping around in the world.

" Your changing the subject. What in L.A has you running?" he presses me, his voice urgent, like knowing the answer is imperative to his well-being, " Or who? It's someone. Not something."

" It's none of your fucking business," I say getting up, " You can go now. I don't need you, or anyone else to baby sit me."

" Your mine, therefore it is my fucking business…"

" I'm yours? Since fucking when, because believe me, I've discovered a lot of things about myself over the last few days. Memory keeper, magnet for a shit load of trouble, but somehow belonging to you didn't seem to make it on the memo."

" You've been mine from the first time I gave you my blood. Since I saved your life…" he says taking my arms in his hands, pulling me to my feet, " You are mine."

" I don't belong to you, Eric. I will never belong to you. I'm not property, or a new shiny toy. I'm a human being. I unlike you have actual feelings. I unlike you, have a heart that beats and feels. I unlike you, am alive. As long as I breathe, I will never, ever be yours."

" You are mine. Whether you choose to accept what is or not, is all on you. Might as well embrace your fate Madi, I'm not going anywhere."

" I know how to get rid of you," I say and his eyes widen just slightly, and I feel his shock for just a second.

" You wouldn't…"

" You don't know me Eric. Do not push me again or you will find yourself on the outside of my doors, for good," I say brushing past him, heading up the stairs.

" Be careful Madi, I like my women feisty…" Eric calls after me with a laugh.

* * *

><p>" Hello," I mumble into the phone, trying to clear the fog of fatigue in my head so I can understand the voice on the other end.<p>

" Madi, hey it's Sookie, did I wake you?" Sookie's cheerful voice rings through the phone, and I groan wishing I could bury my head back under my blankets and drop off for a few more hours.

" Yeah," I yawn, looking at the clock. That can't be right. I blink my eyes a few times and sure enough the time doesn't change.

" Well you need to get out of bed silly, it's nearly three in the afternoon," she says, laughter in her voice, " Besides I wanted to see if you wanted to come into Bon Temps. I'm having a little bit of a get together, thought you'd like to meet some new people."

" Aww Sook, I'd love to, but since I still don't have a car, I guess it will just have to wait for another time," I say, genuinely sorry that I was turning down the offer. Okay, so I'm not entirely sorry, but I'm exhausted, and sleep is really the only thing that is on my priority list.

" Well that's no problem, me and Lafayette can come get you. Be there in about an hour," she says and I have no time to decline the offer since she hangs up, and I'd just be talking to a dial tone.

* * *

><p>I hear the car pull up outside, and straightening my gray, v-neck sweater I grab my purse and head for the door. I wave to Sookie before locking the door behind me, and I jog to the car, happy to be out of the rain.<p>

" Madi, this is Lafayette, Lafayette this is Madi," Sookie happily makes the introduction and I smile warmly at the man who turns to look at me. He's cute. Dark smooth skin and dancing eyes, and a smile that's sweet yet somehow mischievous.

" Mmm. Look at you, suga', all peaches and cream," Lafayette says, and his voice is comforting. Carrying a certain, southern drawl that makes me giggle.

" Thank you," I murmur, holding a hand out to him, " It's nice to meet you." Our hands connect, and I feel it. The familiar buzzing in the back of my head as I seem to go into tunnel vision. I don't understand what I see. It's unlike any of the other, visions, I've seen.

Scenes flash, all of them with the same man in them. Young, handsome, and I feel so much love. So much loss. The last scene has my heart breaking as I watch Lafayette plunge a knife into the man, and I blink my eyes coming back to the here and now.

I know I'm crying. My chest heaves with my tears, and Lafayette stares at me like I've lost my mind, and Sookie squirms behind the wheel.

" Hooka, what the fuck was that?" Lafayette demands and I shake my head trying to catch my breath.

" I, I don't know what your talking about," I mutter wiping my eyes before pulling a compact from my purse to see the damage done to my carefully applied eyeliner.

" This bitch…Sookie what the hell ya got yourself wrapped up in now?" he demands and I watch her, her eyes on mine.

" That isn't for me to say Lafayette, and you shouldn't be mad at Madi, it isn't her fault," Sookie says, and my heart warms at the thought of her sticking up for me, protecting me, a virtual stranger.

" Well, she aint fuckin talkin now is she? Talkin about she don't know what I'm talkin about. Hooka your eyes went black as night and when you come back around your cryin, now you want to tell me what the fuck happened?" he demands, and I grit my teeth rolling my eyes.

" I was seeing things."

" Seeing things? Like what?"

" Memories…"

" Memories?"

" Your memories…" I offer numbly, wondering just when the laughter is going to come.

" Get the fuck outta here….Sook, your friend is pretty, but she's lost her damn mind."

" I saw you, and another man. Handsome man, laying in bed together. Then, then I saw you kill him. Bury a knife in his stomach," I whisper, and his eyes glaze over. I see it, the anger, the confusion, the pain.

" Sookie, what the hell did you tell her for?"

" I didn't say a word to her. Madi's, special."

" I hardly call being able to see people's memories special. I feel terrible. I intrude when I don't even mean too. Lafayette, I'm so, sorry," I say, " God, I am such a freak." He studies me, eyes serious and after a minute he lets out a breath.

" Hooka, you aint any freakier than the rest of us here. Sooks hears people's thoughts, I see dead people, you see memories…we are the fuckin trifecta of freakishness…" I let out a small laugh, taking a deep breath.

" Do you refer to everyone as a hooker?" I ask, and he smiles, an almost boyish grin that has me feeling at ease.

" I's sure do, Hooka."

* * *

><p>I stare at Sookie's house and the only thing I can think is that it's perfect. Somehow, the house seems to fit her like a glove. From the large porch to the bushes planted in the front. It all screams, Sookie.<p>

Yet, I'm filled with dread. I know it has to be an old home, one built many years before I was even a thought, and I fear entering it. Fear the memories that I'm sure can't wait to wash over me.

" Madi, you comin?" Sookie asks, and I see the way she stares at me, as if waiting to see how I'll react.

" Of course," I murmur, following close behind her and Lafayette.

" I'm just so excited for you to meet my brother, and Sam," Sookie rambles, but her voice is barely a whisper in my head as too many feelings and emotions batter me the minute I walk through the door.

I feel it all. Every feeling that could possibly be felt assaults me, and I cringe for just a second, trying to gather myself.

" Madi, you okay?"

" Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry, just, wow. There's just, a lot in here."

" What's it like?" she whispers, her hand suddenly finding mine, " I mean, I know what its like to hear people's thoughts, or to see things, but to see memories. To be, transported into them, is just…"

" Right now? It's like a whisper. Like a stereo on low in my head. Sook, listen, I really appreciate that you want to include me, but…I can't control what I see or when I see it. I hurt Lafayette just twenty minutes ago, all because I have absolutely no idea how to control what I am, what if I do that to someone else. What if I do it to you?" I feel the panic rising inside of me, but she just smiles at me.

" Madi, if you hurt anyone, I'll know it wasn't intentional, I promise you, what you are is amazing, and the fact that you worry about hurting people you don't know just goes to show that you have a good heart. I promise you, you'll be fine. If it gets to be too much, I'll take you home."

I study her, and after a minute I smile, shaking my head.

" All right, I'll stay. For you."


	7. Chapter 7: Remember To Forget

**Chapter Seven: Remember To Forget**

" _Some memories are best left forgotten…"-Anonymous._

* * *

><p>An hour has passed, and most of it I've spent sitting on the couch, watching Sookie interact with her friends, and I feel okay. Like maybe I have found somewhere to belong. Most of my life I've felt like I was on the outside. Sounds funny. Saying it that way, but it's the truth.<p>

" Well, its about damn time that boy got here," Lafayette says, smiling broadly at the sound of a truck pulling up outside.

I shift on the couch and smile at the man who walks in the house, seeing the way he embraces Sookie, clapping Lafayette into a hug, a head nod to Sam. Then his eyes land on mine, and I smile warmly. He's cute. Looks like good genes were passed down to the Stackhouse siblings.

" Madi, this is my brother," Sookie says and I get to my feet, reaching my hand out to him, his hand covering mine, " Jason, this is Madi."

" Ja..Jason?" I stammer, shaking my head. I feel my world falling away, like I'm being sucked through a straw. It's a strange feeling, feeling yourself slipping away. It's like every muscle inside of my body goes to liquid, as I slip to the floor.

_I sit on the bedroom floor, crying as I hug my knee's. I have to hold onto myself because if I don't, I wont be able to control the shaking. I wont be able to stop. I jump when the door slams shut, and for the first time in an hour the apartment is quiet. Completely empty of the sound of Jason raging. _

_I look up shakily, staring at myself in the mirror. The bruises are all ready blooming, and blood dries on my lips…._

" Madi? Madilyn?" Sookie's voice swims through my head, and I cough, choking on bile and I try to scramble up but she pushes me back, " Hey, hey its okay…Madi its okay…"

My head rings loudly, and I take a deep breath staring at the ceiling.

" What? What happened?" I ask, sitting up slowly.

" I was going to ask you the same thing," she says, her eyes transfixed on my face.

" Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask, but before she can answer me I catch my reflection over her shoulder. My right eye is swollen and bruised, and blood paints my lips, " Sookie, I, I should go home."

" Madi, what the hell happened?" Sookie asks as we pull in front of my house, and I let out a deep breath, " I just. I've seen you see memories before, but I've never seen anything physical come with you."

" I. I don't know what happened. I don't know how this happened, I haven't gotten far in reading what my Nana left for me, so I honestly don't know," I murmur, clutching my purse close to my chest.

" What were you seeing? Was it a memory of my brother?" she asks and I shake my head.

" That's where it becomes even more confusing."

" What was it then?" she asks, " Madi, you can talk to me. You can tell me anything."

" Well, you should come in. I'm going to want a glass of wine or two, and my pajamas."

* * *

><p>" I was seventeen," I say, curling into the corner of the couch, staring into my glass of Merlot, " When my parents died. Car accident. I was completely alone. I suppose, that's an unfair statement. I wasn't completely alone. I had Payton, she's uh, she's my best friend. She was great. She stayed with me, even when I tried my hardest to push her away, she stuck. Like fucking super glue. Through the tears, the anger, the depression, the silence. She was there. I was still considered a minor, and my closest family was my Uncle Thomas on my Dad's side, he lives up in Washington state. I didn't want to leave. I was half way through my senior year, and the idea of moving to a new school, and going through the awkward new girl in school routine just didn't sound like fun, so I emancipated myself. Got a job, finished school. In the middle of all this insanity in my life I was in love. Completely and utterly in love. His name is Jason. I knew him my whole life. Well, at eighteen he asked me to marry him."<p>

" So you married him?" Sookie asks, sipping her wine slowly, and I smile nodding my head.

" I did. He was everything to me. I always thought he was the most gorgeous guy I've ever seen in my whole life. It was his eyes. I guess, because people have always thought how strange it was for me to have two different colored eyes, I was inclined to pay attention to other people's eyes. His eyes, their like the ocean. The most beautiful, clear, sea green eyes. I was head over heels. So we got in the car one weekend, drove to Vegas, and got married. Payton was so pissed. Not so much that I married him, but that I did it without her there."

" Well, I suppose if my best friend went off and got married without me, I'd be pretty mad too," she offers, and I laugh lightly.

" Yeah, well, she got over it pretty quick. So I settled into my life. I was married, worked full time in Payton's bar, went to college. Everything was good. It was, great for a while, but, but then…" my voice falters, wavering as I try to clear the lump.

" What did he do to you?"

" I was twenty, when I found out I was pregnant. He was, so excited. I was excited. The thought of having a baby, having his baby, I was nearly overwhelmed. I fell in love the moment I heard the heart beat. She died when she was two weeks old. SIDS. That's what the doctors said, but Jason, he uh, he swore it was my fault. That I didn't pay close enough attention. It was as if he didn't realize that I lost a child too. That he wasn't the only one. He snapped after that. Became abusive."

" You didn't leave?"

" No. I didn't. I should have, the first time that he hit me, I should have left his ass, but he apologized. God, I was one big fucking cliché, but I loved him, and I wanted to believe he loved me too. So I got good at hiding it. With make-up, sunglasses, stories of my clumsiness."

" You left him though, right? I mean, you aren't still married?" she asks and I can't help but laugh coldly.

" Oh no. See when vampires revealed themselves he made himself, very available to them. For the longest time I ignored it, thought if at least he was busy with them, then he wouldn't bother me much. Then one day, about six months ago I got a knock on the door and I was served with divorce papers. He decided that his latest, vampire friend, was worth the long shot."

" Son of a bitch…"

" Actually no, his Momma is a sweet heart, too bad she had herself a son who is anything but sweet," I murmur, " So when I met your brother, and you said his name, I was taken to the moment that he first laid hands on me."

" But why?"

" I don't know, but I have every intention of finding out."

" What was her name? Your baby girl?" she asks, and my heart stutters against my ribs and I smile sadly.

" Destiny. Destiny Ann," I say, and I open the drawer next to me, pulling a silver framed picture, handing it to her.

" She was beautiful."

" She was perfect," I murmur, and bury my face in my hands and cry, leaning on the warmth she offers me.

* * *

><p><em>There are going to be moments, in the beginning that you just wont understand. That will confuse you. You have to understand that what we can do, what you can do, is an immense gift. Our ancestors used their gift to bring comfort. To children who lost their parents, to Mother's who grieved for children grown and leaving home. However as light and pure as our gift is, there is a dark side to it.<em>

_If there is a darkness tied to any object, to any name, to any person, you run the risk of physically manifesting the memories. If you touch someone and see a horrific car accident, you can come back with the injuries. So tread lightly sweet Madilyn, because you never know what you will see, and what you may bring back with you._

It all makes sense now. I sit back, closing the journal. That's why I came out of the memory looking like I went ten rounds with an angry boxer.

The name.

His name.

_Jason. _

I shiver almost violently, wincing when the movement hurts my body, amd before I can recover my front door slams open and shut and then Eric's in front of me, his hands on my face.

" Who did this to you? Madilyn, who did this to you?" Eric demands, and I'm struck dumb for a second, trying to clear the fog in my head. But I can't. I can't move past his emotions, " Madi!"

" No…nobody. It. It was a memory," I stammer, shaking violently against him.

" A memory? A memory did this?"

" I, I just read in Nana's journal, that sometimes if there is darkness tied to a memory that physical manifestations can be brought back with me."

" What memory did you see?" he asks and I shake my head, shutting down.

" Nothing. It was nothing," I murmur, getting out from underneath him. I need to do something, anything to keep myself busy. To stop myself from spilling anything to Eric. I don't want to let him in.

" Don't lie to me!" he roars, and I cower back pressing my back against the wall, " Do you understand at all what I felt? I was completely helpless while you were in pain. I thought you were being attacked and there wasn't a fucking thing I could do!" He slams his hand against the wall, and I start shaking.

" I..I'm sorry Eric, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to see what I saw," I stammer, trying to stop the erratic beating of my heart.

" What did you see?" he asks and I shift nervously, fighting the tears. I want nothing more to tell him, because I know if I do maybe just maybe his emotions wont be so overwhelming, but I can't tell him. I don't trust him enough to tell him anything about where I came from.

" I can't tell you that." I stammer, jumping when he starts raging. Throwing things around the living room, picture frames smashing, the pretty vase of flowers on the coffee table reduced to shards of glass under his hands, and I'm filled with fear. Then anger and despair when he reaches for the silver frame laying on the couch.

" Don't!" I scream but he lifts it yelling in pain before dropping it to the floor. It's as if everything stops, moving in slow motion as my heart drums loudly in my ears and I can't reach it. Even as I dive over the couch, reaching for it. It smashes to the hardwood floor, shattering loudly, " Oh. Oh God. What did you do? What did you fucking do!"

I scream, hitting Eric. My pitiful blows bouncing off of him, and he doesn't blink, just takes it. As I slap and punch, he stands, accepting all of it, until finally I start running out of steam. My entire body shakes as I cry, and when he starts pulling me close I push away from him, dropping to my knee's.

The stinging pain of glass nicking my skin goes nearly unnoticed, as I hunch myself around the broken frame. I brush the glass aside picking up the marred and torn picture of Ana and weeping press it to my chest.

" Who is she?" Eric asks, his hand on my shoulder, and I shake my head looking up at him with tear filled eyes. Everything hurts now. The emotions I feel rolling off him battering angrily against my own, and I know I can't hold out against him anymore. I can't because whether I like it or not somehow he's tied to me, to what I am.

" My daughter. She's my daughter."

* * *

><p>" Your daughter? Where is she now?" Eric asks as I settle on the couch, pulling my sweater around my legs, covering the smudges of blood that have dried on my skin.<p>

" She died. She was two weeks old," I whisper, hating the fact that my throat constricts, and my eyes burn. You'd think I cried myself out, apparently not.

" How?"

" SIDS. At least that's what the doctors said. I had fallen asleep. I was trying to adjust to running off very little sleep, and when I woke up Destiny wasn't crying, and it was odd, because my little girl, she would eat right on time. I crept into the nursery to check on her, and she was there in her crib. She looked like she was sleeping and when I picked her up she was cold as ice, and limp. She wasn't breathing. I knew then, that she was dead, but I tried bringing her back. CPR. Screaming. Crying. The paramedics had to drag me away from her. Of course they told me it wasn't my fault. It could happen to anyone. It didn't matter what they said though, because he, he blamed me. Said if I had paid more attention, I would have been able to save her. It didn't matter that I hadn't slept in nearly three days because he was out all night and leaving me to take care of her on my own."

" He? Would this he be your ex-husband?" Eric asks, and my eyes snap to his in confusion.

" How do you know about him?"

" I know a lot about you. Your name is Madilyn Grace Kelly, James is your married name, or was. You were born on February eighteenth, nineteen eighty-seven. Your parents were Patrick Murphy and Brenna Kelly. Funny, that your mother held onto her maiden name even though she married, and gave you her last name rather than your fathers. You were a straight A student all through school, a cheerleader, you have an impressive list of extracurricular activities on your transcripts. Parents died when you were seventeen, you emancipated yourself. Got yourself married when you were eighteen. Stupid, if you ask me, but you redeemed yourself by divorcing the asshole."

" Okay, that's enough," I say wiping my face, shaking my head at him, " You don't know me."

" I think I just proved that I do," he says cockily and I feel my blood starting to boil.

" Just because you did a background check on me doesn't mean you know the first fucking thing about me Eric. You do not know me."

" I do know you."

" What's my favorite color?" I demand, and when he stands in stony silence, I smile coldly, " My favorite food? Did any of your research about me tell you the first time I kissed a boy, or how about when I lost my first tooth? My first celebrity crush? Favorite music, the one thing I do when I just can't sleep?"

" No," he grinds out between clenched teeth and I roll my eyes at him.

" That's what I thought. You will never know me Eric Northman. You could, but you don't look at me as what I am."

" And what would that be?" he demands, and I shake my head as I head up the stairs.

" A person."


	8. Chapter 8: Coming For You

**Chapter Eight: Coming For You**

" _Why is it that nightmares always seem to chase you? No matter how far you run, their right behind you…"-Anonymous. _

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><p>Everything I am, everything I wanted to be seems to have just slipped away. Like a dream fleeting once consciousness sinks in. Three weeks. Three weeks I've been in Louisiana and my days are filled with pouring through Nana's journals which haven't told me much other than the histories of our people. Nights are spent evading Eric at just about any cost.<p>

Like now. I stare at myself in the mirror waiting for Sookie's familiar voice to call from downstairs, and then we'll leave, and I'll spend hours in Merlotte's, listening to people talk, avoiding physical contact because God only knows how humiliating it would be if I have an episode in front of a crowd.

In hindsight, I know I made a mistake coming here. Three weeks into what was supposed to be a new chapter in my life has quickly become a nightmare. Full of vampires, telepaths, memory keepers, a hidden past, and werewolves. I would have been better off in L.A. Sure the likelihood of running into him weren't pleasant to think about, then again with a population close to ten million, it could've been really easy for me to get lost there. To never see him again.

Why, oh why, had I insisted on moving to this God forsaken state?

I feel the tears gathering in my eyes, and I shake my head trying to swallow them, only I know that I can't. I pick up my phone, and call the familiar number.

" Hey, Sookie."

" Hey Madi, I was just heading out that way to come and get you. Wouldn't be running so far behind if it wasn't for the late night I had," Sookie's happy voice fills my ears, and I feel guilty that I'm backing out of spending another night at Merlotte's, socializing with the locals, and having fun making Sam blush.

" Hey listen, I'm not going to make it tonight," I say at length, knowing that tears fill my voice.

" What's wrong?" The instant worry in her voice does absolutely nothing to help ease the guilt.

" My period," I blurt out. Why not rely on the same excuse that women have been relying on since the dawn of man to get out of anything, and everything.

" Oh. Well, I guess there's really no way around that is there. Hope you feel better. If you change your mind, give me a call, or J, he'd be real happy to drive you into Merlotte's."

" Thanks Sook, and I will. Have a good night at work." I hang up the phone, bracing my hands on the counter, staring at myself in the mirror. I hate lying, but I can't help myself. I would be no good to anyone, not like this. The fact that Sookie probably knows I'm lying, doesn't matter. What matters is that I need to figure out just what the hell I'm going to do.

" You spend too much time crying sweet pea," Nana's voice rings through my bathroom and I lift watery eyes to see her peering at me from over my shoulder in the mirror, and I scream, whirling around.

" Nana?" I ask, reaching a shaky hand out to her, but it passes through her, and I snatch my hand back finding it cold.

" You can't hide from him forever…." she smiles at me as she says it, and I shaky my head stepping back.

" I'm not hiding from anyone," I say defiantly and she laughs, a rich sound I haven't heard in so long. Never believed I would hear it again, and it sends a stab of pain through my chest.

" Don't think just because I'm dead that I don't know," she says, her voice humorous, " Your hiding from Eric, and I just don't understand why."

" He's insufferable Nana! He doesn't look at me as a person! He see's me as property. How am I supposed to trust someone who see's me as nothing, all because I'm a human. He thinks so much less of me, because I have a beating heart and a pulse. Of course he hasn't come right out and said it, but I know it. I feel it. I felt it from the moment we met, I felt it the night in his bar. I saw the way he treated the humans there, and I refuse to be just another notch on Eric Northman's bed post."

" My heart breaks for you Madilyn. Your past experience has made you so bitter. You need to get over it sweet pea, if your to survive. If your to meet your destiny, you have to learn to let go."

" What are you talking about?"

" I cannot tell you. I can just tell you that what you've gone through in the last three weeks is just the beginning. He'll come for you, and try to use you until you can be used no more. He will bring your death. You need those who love you, especially the one who doesn't yet know how to handle it."

Before I can press her for more details, she evaporates right in front of my eyes, and if I hadn't just been talking to her myself I would have never believed that she was here. I jump when my cell phone suddenly lets out a shrill ring, and I groan, recognizing the ring tone all too well.

" What?" I hiss into the phone as I snap the light in the bathroom off.

" She lives. Tell me, why aren't you with Sookie tonight?" Eric's voice slides through my head, and I roll my eyes.

" Tell me, why is that any of your fucking business?"

" Mmm, there's that feistiness I like so much. I'm coming to get you. Be ready."

" No your not…Eric! Er….oh fuck!" I grumble as I stomp back to my room, " Stupid fucking blonde vampire."

* * *

><p>I sit staring at my bedroom door, grinning ear to ear. Of course I know that Eric could break down my door as easily as I breathe, only he wouldn't dare. Why? Because I have the power to kick his blood sucking, pale ass, right out of my door. He knows I would do it.<p>

" I thought I told you specifically to be ready," Eric's voice growls through the door, and I can just imagine the look of disdain and waning patience on his face.

" You sure did. You TOLD me to be ready. You didn't even ask me if I wanted to go anywhere with you, which in this case, I most certainly do not," I call back to him, laying back on the bed linking my arms behind my head.

" Madilyn, would you please join me for a night on the town?" Eric's voice grinds out, and for some unknown reason that just makes me want to laugh. So that's what I do. I laugh. I laugh until my sides ache. Laugh so hard that my I wrap my arms around myself, and the tightening muscles of my stomach.

" You know, human locks, are so flimsy," Eric's voice has my eyes growing wide and he's there. Straddling me on my bed, his eyes almost amused if it were possible for him to feel such an emotion, and I shove at him. Only he doesn't budge. Not an inch. Not a centimeter.

" I don't recall giving you permission to come into my room," I grumble at him, and just shakes his head, laughing.

" I don't really need permission. Not where your concerned."

" Oh is that so? Cocky doesn't look good on you Eric," I lie through my teeth, because its quiet the contrary. Cocky does look good on him. As does rage and indifference. I doubt there is anything on this man that doesn't look good.

" Mmm, the blush creeping into that beautiful face of yours tells me so differently."

" I'm only blushing because your insane body weight is on me, constricting blood flow. God how much do you weigh?"

" Such an impolite question Madi," Eric chides me, and I roll my eyes.

" Oh and breaking into someone's bedroom and straddling them on their bed isn't rude?" I demand, and he laughs, a rich sound that seems to rumble from deep inside of him.

" I think you wanted me to do this. Perhaps that's why you refused to open your door? Because you knew I would eventually find a way in."

" You know, just when I think you couldn't get any cockier…"

" You like it," he murmurs, and I look up at him, shaking my head.

" You have no idea what I like. Or don't like apparently."

" You sure about that? I think I can figure it out," he whispers, his lips brushing my forehead, and I know I could easily sink into the moment. It would be as simple as breathing. I needed the contact. Craved it. Craved him.

" No," I say at length, shoving his shoulder back.

" No?" the questioning tone of his voice is enough to make me smirk.

" You heard me right Northman. No. Now move," I groan, wiggling out from underneath him, feeling flustered.

" Then shall we go out?" he asks, and before I can shoot him down, again, he starts leafing through my closet, humming low in his throat, " No. No. No. Really?" His quizzical look makes me shake my head again, and he rolls his eyes going back to my clothes. " This. This will be perfect."

I turn to look over my shoulder, and stare dumbfounded at him.

" You want me to go out, in February, in that? Are you crazy?" I demand of his choice. The black lacy dress was bought on a fluke, and more because Payton forced me into buying it than because I actually wanted it.

" Well, where we're going you wont need a jacket."

" Are we going to hell?" I ask as he lays the garment on the bed and heads out of the door, " Because this feels a lot like hell!"

* * *

><p>I've taken my time. After all, if I'm going to be forced to go out thanks to Eric's insistence and his lack of understanding the word <em>'no'<em>, I should make him wait. I take in my reflection. It's a rare night. My hair has done exactly what I wanted it to do, and my make up is on flawlessly.

And I didn't go light simply because Eric told me I didn't need such things. I went light because I don't feel like scrubbing my face when I get home from whatever death trap I'm sure Eric will be dragging me into.

" Are we quiet done yet?" Eric asks from the door, and I smile almost too sweetly as I turn to look at him.

" I think so. I just need my bag," I answer, dabbing my favorite perfume on my wrists, and I have to try and hide my smile when he rolls his eyes and hands my favorite little bag to me, "Well thank you Eric. How kind of you."

" Don't start Madi. My patience is thin."

" I was hoping for that."

* * *

><p>Half way down the stairs, Eric slaps a hand up stopping me, and if it wasn't for the fact that his arm acts as a bar to keep me in place I would topple head first down the rest of the carpeted steps.<p>

" What the hell Eric…"

" Someone is here."

" What?" I demand and before I can press him further on the matter, he's out of the front door, and a high pitched scream fills the night. I kick my heels off with good sense and race outside to find Eric holding a terrified Payton in the air by her neck, her legs swinging madly.

" Do you know this, human?" Eric spits through his fangs, and I slap him though it does me absolutely no good whatsoever.

" Put her down right this fucking second!" I rush forward, snatching my best friend around the waist, steadying her, " Payton? What the hell are you doing here?"

" Had…to…warn…you," Payton's words are broken as she slumps forward, hands on her knees as she gasps for air.

" Warn me?" I ask questioningly and she looks at me, tears streaming down her face, " Warn me about what?"

" He's coming for you Madi," she says, coughing brutally, " Jason's coming here. With her."


	9. Chapter 9: Not a Dream

**Author's Note: Hello again! I say this because just when I finished editing and getting ready to post the chapter, my computer glitched and I lost it! So here we go again round two for chapter nine! Hope you all enjoy it! Let me know either way. As always Read/Review/Enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter Nine: Not a Dream<strong>

"_All the things one has forgotten scream for help in dreams."-Elias Canetti_

I'm vaguely aware of the voices around me, even more aware of Eric's hand coming around the back of my neck, forcing my head between my knees, ordering me harshly to keep breathing. It isn't until he drops to a crouch in front of me, large hands squeezing my shoulders tight that I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding.

"Madilyn, you will not fall apart," Eric demands through clenched teeth, and I nod my head, trying to shake away the familiar feeling. Knowing that I'm falling away, being pulled into a memory that isn't mine.

A memory I don't belong in.

Only this is unlike anything I've seen before, because I can't see. Its pitch black, with scenes flashing, but their so blurred I can't make out who they possibly can be. Voices too muffled I can't make any sense out of what's being said, or who the voices even belong to.

"_Madi…." _

Eric's voice is watery as I claw my way through the dark heaviness.

"What the fuck! What the fuck did you do to her?" Payton's voice is loud and filled with icy anger as I break the surface of reality, and I grab Eric's hand, shocking him so much by the look on his face, which is what I was hoping I could accomplish. The last thing I want is for him to grab Payton again, to hurt her again.

"Stop, she doesn't know," I murmur, and he shakes his head at me, stretching up to tower over me.

"Then I suggest you start talking. I have to go, it'll be dawn soon. You are not to leave this house, not until I'm back tonight." I stare at him, and I know there is no use fighting with him. If I were to push the fact that he isn't in charge of me now, it would undoubtedly lead to him dragging me kicking and screaming back to Fangtasia. I don't want that. Not now. Not ever.

I watch him turn to leave but he pauses, eyes catching mine, and I see it then. Almost as if a switch has been thrown inside of him, and I realize something so unsettling I'm not sure what to do.

Eric Northman's worried.

* * *

><p>We sit staring at each other. A whole conversation passing between us in the silence, and I feel myself crumbling under her knowing gaze. I should have told her. When I found out what I was. What I'm capable of doing by simply touching someone. But, how does one explain to someone that they've known their whole life that they can slip into people's memories and witness things thought long lost and forgotten? How can I expect her to understand? To accept, that in three short weeks I've gone from the girl she spent every moment with from the sandbox on, is a completely different person?<p>

"What the hell is going on here Madi?" Payton finally asks, and I let out a breath shaking my head. Honestly not knowing where to begin.

"I, I'm a Memory Keeper," the words tumble out of my lips, and she looks at me like I've sprouted another head.

"You're a what?" she demands and I run shaky hands through my hair.

"A Memory Keeper. Apparently it's something that's been in my family for generations, on my Mother's side. I, I found these journals, left by Nana. Well, I didn't find them, Eric did. That doesn't matter. What matters is I can involuntarily fall into other people's memories."

"Hold on. Just hold on a second," she says pushing to her feet, pacing back and forth between the couch and the large bay window, "Is that what happened before? When your eyes went…"

"Black as night? Yeah, that's what happened."

"Well shit. Okay, I have just one thing to say," her voice sounds sharp and I wince. Here it comes. Here comes the stay away from me you freak speech. I feel my heart already starting to break inside of me at the thought of losing my best friend. My only family, " If you ever leave me this far out of the fucking loop again when it comes to what's going on with you, I swear to God I will kick your ass from here to Timbuktu."

I stare at her in disbelief, a smile on her lips even if her eyes are shadowed by a most unusual mixture of worry and curiosity.

"That's it?" I ask in wonderment, and with a light sigh she drops into the overstuffed arm chair, kicking her shoes off before tucking her legs under her.

"Yes, what were you expecting?" she asks, yawning slightly.

"Honestly?" I ask my voice shaking furiously as I feel the tears start rolling down my cheeks, "I thought you would want nothing to do with me."

"What did you just say? Madilyn I know those words didn't just come out of your mouth," her voice is angry and I look up at her, shrugging my shoulders.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you sooner, I just. I don't know how to handle this yet. I still don't understand any of it. How my parents could just hide this from me. I am so confused about everything. I don't know how to handle being a Memory Keeper, I don't know how to handle seemingly being hunted by just about every creature that there is in this world, and I definitely don't know how to handle having Eric Northman laying claim to me. My entire world is just completely fucked up."

"You listen to me Madi. We've been friends since the first week of Kindergarten, and if you think for one second the fact that you're a Memory Keeper, or that you're being hunted down, or that you're being pursued by that gorgeous, albeit psychotic, blonde vampire, is going to change anything, then I don't know who the fuck you are."

I don't know why but that is exactly what I needed to hear, and I give into my emotions crumbling with Payton's arms surrounding me and cry out the hurt and confusion that has seemed to become so second nature for me.

* * *

><p>I lay in bed, back to the door, staring into the night just outside of my window. He'll be here soon.<p>

Eric.

And I don't dare hazard a guess as to which version of him will be making an appearance. Indifferent? Angry? Bossy, maybe. I sigh when I hear my door open, and with a sarcastic remark waiting on my lips to be shot at one very tall blonde vampire I roll over, only to find a disheveled and sleepy eyed Payton swaying with fatigue.

"Couldn't sleep anymore," Payton says, yawning slightly and I smile scooting over so that she can climb onto the bed beside me, which she does like she has a million times before over the years.

"Can't imagine why, you only slept for nearly twelve hours," I tease her as I sit up, pressing my back to the headboard.

"Where's the vamp?" she asks ignoring my sarcasm.

"No idea. Maybe he forgot about me. Got distracted," I giggle when she looks at me sideways, "A girl can dream."

"So maybe you can explain to me how it is that you met Eric in the first place," she says, and I sigh. I managed to change the subject on this one question earlier by quickly jumping to her favorite topic. Jared. I can only divert the conversation so many times before she's going to realize that I'm intentionally not telling her something.

"I don't want you to freak out okay. So you have to promise me that you won't totally lose your mind when I tell you…"

"Jesus Madi, it's not like you drank his blood or anything," she says jokingly and I feel the blush creeping into my cheeks, "Oh. My. God. Madi, no. Oh God, how? Why? Please don't tell me he's had your blood? Oh Madilyn, what the hell are you thinking!"

"I didn't have a choice Payton…"

"Of course you had a choice. You actively chose to drink from a vampire! Are you fucking insane! Did you lose your mind?" she screams at me, and I shake my head suddenly feeling backed into a corner, "Then to let him drink from you?"

"How can you be so angry over this? You serve Vampires in your bar Payton!" I scream at her, so confused by her sudden aversion to vampires.

"Yeah synthetic blood Madi! I don't serve humans to them on a silver platter, and I sure as hell don't have humans sucking vamp juice either!"

"I was dying Payton, okay! Is that what you wanted to hear? I was dying! That's why I drank Eric's blood, because if I hadn't drunk his blood we wouldn't be having this conversation, instead you'd be mourning your best friend. For someone who swears to be so equal opportunity you sure have no problem being so damn judgmental!"

"Madi! Madi wait!" she calls after me but I ignore her. Instead I keep walking, storming down my stairs and straight out the door in the pouring rain, her worried voice echoing behind me.

* * *

><p>I shiver madly, squinting through the dark trying to make out the road. I can't hide the fact that I'm scared, even if I try to clamp down on it because I know that at any second now Eric can come out of nowhere to grab me and shake me, and demand to know why I deliberately disobeyed a direct order. I can honestly say that right now I wouldn't mind it so much.<p>

I blink against the rain, trying to clear my eyes, but a sharp growl from behind me stops me cold. I can feel my pulse hammering in my throat as I turn slowly, trying to see through the darkness, but I can't see anything through the torrents of rain.

"He…Hello…" I call out, my voice shaking. If Payton were here she'd ask me why the hell I just said hello to something that growled at me in the dark, in which case I'd come up with some sarcastic albeit witty reply, but no, my best friend isn't here. No instead I'm here in the dark. By myself. Praying that whatever growled at me wasn't in the mood for human. At least not right now anyway.

Then the world goes upside down as I'm tackled in the dark. The air rushes out of my lungs as I'm pressed into the ground by a large, warm body. I try sucking in a breath to scream but a large hand covers my mouth.

I squirm under the stranger, trying to kick my legs or free my hands to scratch, but I can't.

"Madilyn, stop! Stop its okay, Eric sent me!" My body stills under the weight of the stranger, and I try desperately to see his face only I can't. I'm sucked away before I can even blink. Only I can't see anything, or I can, but it's all going by in such quick flashes I can't keep up with it. I can feel everything though, and everything I'm feeling is nothing human. It's purely animalistic. Exhilirating. Terrifying.

"Hey, hey, wake up. Come on Madilyn, wake up," the deep voice rolls over me and I open my eyes slowly, my head feeling like it's on fire and about to explode off my shoulders.

"Ouch," I whimper, and I try to open my eyes as strong hands help me sit up, "Oh I think I'm going to throw up."

"Deep breathes, it'll pass."

I follow the instructions given, and slowly my head doesn't pound so much, my stomach isn't as on edge.

"Maybe you can open your eyes now." I open them slowly, feeling disoriented when my vision doubles, then triples, before clearing, "You have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen."

"Who are you?" I ask, realizing suddenly that this stranger is naked, and there is a whole lot of him to see. My eyes involuntarily flicker over his exposed skin, and I realize this is one very fine male specimen in front of me.

"Alcide Herveaux."

"Alcide, as happy as I am that you saved me, or whatever it is that you came to do, but you are extremely naked, and it's been a very long time since I have been this close to a naked man, and well, to be honest I have never been next to a naked man as hot as you, so would it be too much of an imposition if I asked that you find your clothes and put them on."

"Are you blushin'?" he asks and I turn my head away as he gets to his feet.

"Well, glad to see you found her and managed to keep her in one piece Dog," Eric's voice comes from the dark, and I lift my face in time to see him stepping from the shadows, "I thought I told you not to leave the house before I came back Madilyn."

"I left under duress," I say, and before I can struggle to my feet on my own Eric sweeps me up, setting me on my feet.

"That's what Payton said. Doesn't matter she's been taken care of." Fear suddenly erupts alive in my blood making my mouth run dry as I look up at him.

"What do you mean she's been taken care of? What the hell did you do to her?" I demand, pushing him away from me as forcefully as I can.

"You misunderstand," he says catching my wrists in his hands, "As fun as it would be to silence the loud mouth, I never would. She means a great deal to you, so I will never harm her. She's with Sookie and Bill. Which is where she will stay until this whole issue with your ex-husband is taken care of. As for you, you'll be staying with me."

"Wait, so Payton has taken up residence so to speak with Sookie and Bill and you expect me to just come with you?" I demand and he smiles a slow and cocky smile, gathering me close to his side.

"That is precisely what I expect you to do."

"Then your even stupider than I thought you were," I say taking a step away from him shaking my head.

"Madilyn, we don't have time for this," he says, reaching for my hand.

"Your right we don't. I am not going with you Eric."

I stand my ground even with Eric looming over me, fangs protruding and gleaming through the darkness. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me afraid of him; even though I know he can sense it in the way my heart gallops against my ribs, pulse jumping in the hollow of my throat.

* * *

><p>He stares at me, icy eyes boring into me and I shiver more from his silent rage then from the cold rain pouring over me, and before I can say anything to him, or turn and walk away his arms are around me and then we're in the air. I hold onto him tightly, burying my face in his chest, arms instinctively locking around his neck. My eyes snap shut a scream locking in my chest and almost as soon as we took off, the sound of rushing air dies, and I open my eyes slowly only to find myself staring straight into the smooth skin of Eric's throat.<p>

I feel it then. The shaking. The muscles in my arms twitching restlessly, my legs threatening to buckle, and I try to catch a breath as I feel my arms slide from Eric's shoulders. He takes a slow step back, and my legs give out under my weight, and before I can fall he catches me, large hands resting on my shoulders as he stares down at me. I know tears are filling my eyes, and I don't feel the least bit ashamed. After all, heights and flying are two of my worst fears, and seeing as how both of those things were just realized; the tears are fully expected and understandable, at least to my way of thinking. I open my mouth to say something, and then everything goes black.

I wake slowly to the feel of fingers running through my hair, perfumed water flushing over my head. My eyes blink open slowly, and I realize I'm in an oversized bath tub in what has to be one of the biggest bathrooms I've ever been in all my life. My body instinctively tenses as the second realization hits me. If I'm in the bathtub, then I'm naked, and I'm not alone.

"You're awake," Eric's voice fills my ears and I would jump if it wasn't for him wrapping a strong arm around my waist, holding me tightly against him.

"This is a dream. This is just another dream," I mutter to myself, closing my eyes tightly before reopening them, only to find that nothing's changed.

"You're not dreaming Madilyn."


	10. Chapter 10: Darkness Falls

**Author's Note: Hey everyone! I know it's been like forever since I've written. I've actually had this chapter written for a while, just took me a while to edit it and polish it up. Anyways, I am hoping to have chapter eleven done soon and posted before I leave on Monday for vacation. I hope that anyone still reading this story enjoys this chapter. Thank you to everyone still sticking with me. XO~Amber. As Always, Read/Enjoy/Review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 10: Darkness Falls<strong>

"_**Stars, hide your fires; Let not lights see my black and deep desires."-William Shakespeare; Macbeth**_

My hand holds tight on the towel wrapped snuggly around my body, and I am fully aware that Eric, who is very naked and dripping wet, stands across from me a smug smile on his lips.

"What would make you think that I would be at all okay with you stripping me naked while I was unconscious and then proceed to bathe with me?" I ask blushing madly when he takes a step closer to me, and I turn my head to the side so I'm not looking at him, and there is a lot of him to see.

"You were dirty from traipsing in the rain and mud and I don't want mud in my bed," Eric says so nonchalantly that it takes me a minute to fully comprehend what he just said.

"What makes you think I'll be in your bed?" I ask, trying to breathe normally when he reaches out brushing my wet hair off my bare shoulder.

"Where else are you going to sleep?" he asks so innocently that I almost laugh, almost.

"The floor will suit me just fine," I tell him keeping my voice steady despite the fact that my heart is racing madly.

"Madi, when are going to stop fighting this?" he asks seriously, and I shake my head ducking away from him.

"I'll never stop fighting."

**_XXX_**

I fight the urge to scream and throw a tantrum when after an hour I still find myself in nothing but a towel, with Eric clad in a pair of jersey basketball shorts staring at me, a look of humor on his face.

"All you have to do is ask for something to wear Madilyn," Eric murmurs from the bed and I turn my head away. I won't give him the satisfaction of seeing me blush. I shouldn't even be blushing. There is nothing the least bit appealing about wearing anything of his. Yet I feel the heat rising and creeping its way up my neck and into my cheeks, "Unless of course you prefer sleeping, naked."

"Shut up Eric," I hiss out, mortified when the idea of lying next to him actually excites me. Just for a second a flash of heat and thrill races through me, and I know he can feel it by the way he cocks his to the side, an almost dangerous smile on his lips. I shake my head at him rolling my eyes and with no ceremony at all start searching drawers. Pulling them open one by one, and I've come to this conclusion.

Eric Northman sure does like wearing the color black.

After the fourth drawer of black shirts I give up on finding anything different and pull one out, and to my surprise find another drawer full of shorts. I know I'll swim in them but it's better than being naked or even remotely close to naked around Eric.

I turn towards the bathroom only to find him standing in the way, arms spread across the door to block my way in.

"Seriously Eric, why do you insist on being so childish?" I demand, clutching the clothes tight in my hand.

"It's incredibly impolite to just take someone's clothes without permission, Madilyn," he says simply, and I groan. The last thing I want to do is have to ask him for anything. Besides, why should I? He's the one who brought me here and took my clothes from me when I was conveniently unconscious

"Oh bite me Eric," I spit at him, and it doesn't even take me half a second to realize what I just said and how stupid it was on my part. I find myself caged in by Eric, his fangs protruding and he licks his lips as he stares down at me.

"Mmm, I knew you'd come around," he growls out and I shake my head, dropping the clothes to the floor to slap my hands around my neck.

"I didn't mean it! Jesus Eric don't, please…" I sound ridiculous begging but the idea of Eric sinking his fangs into me terrifies me more than being humiliated by my fear.

"You should be more careful with your words Madi, and remember this, other vampires won't stop," he says, easily scooping up the clothes and handing them to me. I duck under his arms and into the bathroom, shutting the door snuggly behind me, flipping the lock, "One more thing Madi, I won't ever drink from you, not unless you ask me too, and you mean it."

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><p><strong>Eric's POV<strong>

I know Madilyn is sleeping, and it's a restless sleep as she rolls for the millionth time smacking her arm against the dresser. I should be asleep, but I can't with her so close and yet so far away from me. She insisted on sleeping on the floor and after a while I grew tired of telling her to not be so foolish and to come into my bed. I didn't fall asleep like she must have thought I did.

Instead the precious hours of daylight that usually serves as my resting time has been half spent watching her sleep, reveling in the peace that crosses her face, and the very appealing noises that come from the back of her throat.

I slip out of bed and bend down easily lifting her into my arms and I'm surprised when instead of her flying awake and raging at me she turns her face into my chest one hand resting over where my heart lays silent.

For a second I give into an impulse I've been holding out against since I met her, and press my lips to her forehead before curling into bed next to her.

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><p><em><strong>Madilyn's POV<strong>_

_I stare at him as he sleeps, fingers itching to reach out and brush the hair from his forehead, and with a small smile I indulge myself. _

"_Mmm, you're awake," Eric's sleepy voice fills the stillness, and I smile feeling a slight thrill when he catches my hand in his and presses his lips to the palm of my hand. _

"_Have been for hours," I whisper grinning when he reaches down and hitches my leg over his hip, making it perfectly clear what's on his mind, my breathe hitches in my throat when he shifts up, and I can feel my eyes roll into the back of my head. _

"_Madi…" he groans in my ear and I smile tilting my head to the side offering myself completely to him. _

My eyes flash open and it takes a few seconds for the remnants of the dream to slide away and for me to adjust to my surroundings. It comes back to me of course, where I am and why. The only part that is a little hazy is how exactly I ended up in the bed, with a sleeping vampire behind me with his arm thrown over my waist. I turn ready to yell at him only what I find beside me has the words of anger slipping down my throat.

He looks innocent as he sleeps. He's motionless, completely still and since there is no clock in the room I don't have the slightest clue as to what time it is. I slide out from under his arm and find myself walking through the pitch dark room arms stretched out hands feeling along furniture until I find the cool metal of the door knob. Sucking a breath in I turn it slowly praying silently and when it opens into a long hall I let out the breath and look over my shoulder happy to find Eric still sound asleep on the bed behind me.

_**XXX**_

I close the door and start down the hall running my hands over my cold arms, and after a few wrong turns I find myself in the club portion of Fangtasia, which looks completely different in the daylight. I circle around slowly finding a phone behind the counter. I snatch it up and dial Payton's number.

On the third ring I'm ready to scream and just when I'm going to hang up her voice rings through.

"Who is this?" Payton's voice is a mixture of worried and tired and I sigh as I sit right on the floor pulling my knees to my chest.

"It's me," I murmur smiling when she and I both let out a long sigh at the same time.

"Thank God. Where are you?" she asks and I look around, trying to ignore how humorous I find this situation.

"Sitting on the floor behind the bar of Fangtasia…"

"I'll come get you."

"No, I'll come to you. I know how to get there, and I know Sookie won't bring you here. I'll be there in no more than an hour. I just had to call you, make sure you were okay."

"How do you know I'm with Sookie?"

"Eric told me, last night. To be honest I didn't know how much I believed him, glad to know that in this at least he was being honest."

"He's such a pain in the ass Madi; seriously, you sure know how to pick 'em."

"I didn't pick him," I growl out as I get to my feet, "I'll be there soon. Don't tell Sookie."

"Okay but I don't guarantee she won't find out, there's something strange about that girl Madi, I just haven't put my finger on it yet…"

"I'll explain everything when I can. Just, keep an eye out for me. See you soon." I hang up the phone and not wanting to waist anytime I make my way to the front door only to find that it's locked.

"Shit," I murmur pushing against the door again as if willing my body weight to push it open, "Shit. Shit. Shit." I look around wondering where the keys could be at, and decide quickly that I'm not going to find keys vampires have hidden. Instead I find an unlocked window and decide I will take whatever means of escape that I can. I slide it open slowly heart pounding expecting that any second now Eric, or God help me, Pam will come out of nowhere and drag me back through the open window, only they don't. I make it through the window and into the sunshine, and I smile letting out the breath I was holding.

"Thank you sun," I murmur and it takes me only a second to get myself together enough to figure out where I am and without looking back I set off in a run.

**_XXX_**

The breath tears out of my lungs by the time I reach the end of Sookie's drive, and I stop putting my hands on my knee's trying desperately not to throw up. Once I get my breath back I stand walking slowly towards the house and I see Payton step onto the patio and I smile lifting a hand to wave to her, but she shouts at me words I can't make out and before I can call back to her everything is gone.

"Hello Madi," a familiar voice rolls over me and I groan as my eyes flutter open only to find Jason staring down at me, his hair messy and face gaunt. I see it then, in his eyes, the look of a mad man.

I try calling out but my voice doesn't want to cooperate with me, and all I can do is stare up, into the face I once knew so well, and wonder how it has come to this.

"She's going to be so happy that I found you," he whispers as he leans down and to my shock he licks the skin of my throat, "We're going to kill you Madi, oh hey, don't cry, it won't be until after she changes me, and we're going to do it together. You're going to be my first feed, kind of romantic isn't it? You were my first, well, everything in my life as a human, so why not be my first as a vampire?"

I feel the tears falling down my cheeks as I try to move, but I can't, and I know he has every intention of killing me, and I can't even fight for myself, can't fight for the life I am so terrified of losing.

"You should get some sleep," he whispers to me, "Wouldn't want you too tired when she gets here. You'll have to make it good for me." I wish desperately that I could scream at him, slap at him, but I can't as he slides the needle into my arm and everything goes back to black.


	11. Chapter 11: Already Gone

**Author's Note: Wow, this is the quickest I've gotten chapters out in a while! First I want to say thank you to Ryanrene97 and ILuvOdie for your reviews! They seriously made my day! And thank you to all of the new favorites subscribers, those make me insanely happy too. Anyways, I am going to try and keep this as brief as possible. I am going to try and get one more chapter out before I leave for vacation on Monday, however I make no promises. As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**P.S The French used in this chapter is from Microsofts Translater, so if it isn't correct, I apologize ahead of time, it's all technologies fault.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 11: Already Gone<strong>

"_Even with our fists held high, it never would've worked out right, we were never meant for do or die…"-Already Gone, Kelly Clarkson_

I float to the surface, trying desperately to roll away from the pain that shoots through my bound arms and legs, but it doesn't seem to matter how far into the darkness I try to go, the pain is still there, insisting that I wake up and face the nightmare that I find myself in.

"She's awake…" a voice whispers through the silence and I open my eyes to find a woman's face floating above me.

"Is it time yet?" Jason's voice calls from the corner of the room and I groan trying to turn my head but I can't. I can't move, I can barely breathe, fear seizing my lungs deeming them almost unusable.

"Soon, I just need a taste," I try to squirm away when I feel the cold hand trailing up my leg but I can't kick it away. Instead I'm stuck lying and watching in horror as a slim hand, smudged red with my blood reaches crimson painted lips and a grotesque purr of delight floats from someone I have yet to fully see, "She tastes, exquisite."

"I told you," Jason says, his voice giddy as he approaches slowly, "I did good didn't I?"

"You did beautifully my love," and then I see her. She's beautiful. Of course she would be with the cascade of chestnut hair and pale skin, full lips and cat like green eyes all tied up nicely in a slim almost modelesque body.

"Go figure," I mutter, but my captors pay me no mind, instead they stare at each other, lovingly, and if it wasn't for the fact that I am currently on the menu for tonight's dinner I would find it almost romantic.

"She will need to be bathed," she coos reaching with pale fingers brushing them down my face, "I'll see to that myself. The arrangements have been made for your transformation."

"It's going to be tonight right? Marguerite, you said it would be tonight," Jason's voice is almost impatient and whiny and I seriously wish I could reach out and smack him, and instead of sharing my sentiment the now named Marguerite crosses to him and presses her lips to his.

"It will be tonight, as promised. You must go now, prepare yourself, just as I taught you," she watches him turn to leave, and before he reaches the door of the dimly lit room he smiles over his shoulder at me.

_**XXX**_

"Madilyn, I'll never be able to thank you enough for your sacrifice," her voice purrs out at me and as she comes closer I feel the tears filling my eyes.

"Please…" I whisper to her as she begins removing my restraints and then to my horror my clothes, "You don't have to do this. There are hundreds, thousands of willing people in this state alone. Please, just let me go."

"Tears are for the weak Madilyn," she says as she lifts me easily and I find my entire body is limp, unable to move anything at all. I can't as much as strike out at her, though I desperately want nothing more than to rake my nails across her perfect face.

"He isn't worth what will come from this," I whisper as she lays me in an old fashioned claw tub, the hot water stinging my overly sensitive skin.

"What do you know of his worth?" she demands as she begins stroking a washcloth over my skin, "For nearly two hundred years I have searched for him, and now I found him. What would you know of love like this?"

"I may not know a lot about love, but I know Jason, and I know he'll get bored eventually. You might have him under your thumb now, but what happens when he becomes one of you? When he is your equal, not your pet?" I ask shivering as water is poured over my head, sputtering slightly trying desperately not to gag on the oiled water.

"Darling, you know nothing about a maker progeny relationship do you? He will be mine, forever. I will never release him," she says and I let out a shaky breath forcing my hands up out of the water and I take her face between my hands.

Everything flashes fast. Like a movie on fast forward. She was young. Barely twenty when she was changed. So much blood was left in her and her makers wake, and then as if time simply slows down, I watch as she stands tears of blood pouring down her face as she watches her maker burn.

I gasp out of the vision and realize she's right. She has no intention of ever letting Jason out of her hold, instead she looks to replace the man she lost, and no amount of begging on my part will stop this. Nothing can stop this. The breath hitches in my throat and I'm ready to break down and sob when something, no, more like someone comes to mind.

Eric.

_**XXX**_

**Eric's POV**

I knew something was wrong the minute my eyes flew open and I found myself alone. The fear crawls along my skin and I don't bother calling out Madi's name. She isn't here, and wherever she is, she doesn't want to be. Her terror beckons to me and I growl when I see that it's not yet dark, pacing the confines of my room.

You never realize how slow the sun can set until someone's life depends on it. Throwing caution to the wind I leave the room and find Pam, asleep in her coffin, and without a second thought I pull open the lid rousing her from her death like state.

"This had better be good," Pam growls pushing a pink satin sleeping mask from her face.

"Someone has Madi. You're to go to Sookie's and find out what they know, and then call me," I demand fiercely and she rolls her eyes.

"And I'll be doing this why?" she asks studying her nails, and I don't think as I snatch her from her bed.

"You'll do this because I command you to do it that's why!"

"Okay, okay, Jesus Eric, no need to get so worked up over a…." she trails off when I narrow my eyes at her and I set her down glad to find that she has chosen wisely and not finished her sentence, "Why aren't you going to Sookie's?"

"Just do as your told Pam," I growl at her before stalking away.

I have my human to find.

_**XXX**_

_**Madi's POV**_

I lay staring at the same spot on the ceiling that I've been staring at for what seems like an eternity, making out patterns that I know aren't really there. Anything to pass the time, anything to take myself away from my terrifying reality.

The heavy door opens and I turn my head finding Jason and Marguerite standing hand in hand together, dressed in Victorian era clothing. And my heart breaks. My heart breaks for the man I used to love. The man who has fallen so far away from reality. The man who had so much potential and is wasting it away by becoming a monster.

"You should say goodbye to her my love," Marguerite's voice is soft and with a gentle nudge Jason steps to me. I cringe away, the smell of blood on his lips mixing sickly with the sweetness of the bath oils I'm sure Marguerite bathed him in making my stomach turn. His fingers are soft as he lays them on my face and turns my head to look at him. Is it possible that this shell of a man is that of the man I loved once with all of my heart? It seems so inconceivable.

"Madilyn…" his voice trails off and I can tell that the choice he is making is weighing on him as he studies me, fingers brushing over the light bruising on my face, "I will never forget you."

"Jason…please," I beg my voice choked as the welling tears has my throat constricting.

"Shh, before you know it this will be over, I swear," he brushes a light kiss to my lips and then my forehead, and I watch in heartbreaking silence as he walks back to Marguerite's waiting arms.

"It's time my love," Marguerite's voice is silk in the darkness and I shake my head squeezing my eyes shut as Jason lets out a gasp of pleasure and I know she's sunken her fangs into him, and the sounds coming from that side of the room makes my stomach turn. I know I'm going to be sick but I hold it down. Holding desperately onto whatever semblance of control that I have, and instead of vomiting violently I weep.

**_XXX_**

_Tears run steadily down my face, rolling to pool in the hollow of my throat. It's been hours since Marguerite began Jason's transformation. Hours since I heard his gurgled gasps for breath, watching his body convulse under her mouth and hands. I screamed my throat raw, and now the only sound to be heard is that of my dully beating heart and the occasional hitch in my breath. _

_I try to move sending shockwaves of pain through my bound arms and legs and in frustration I scream, body bowing as I realize I am literally an all you can eat buffet in waiting, and that just pisses me off. _

"_There's the fight I was looking for," a soft voice fills my head and I look around expecting to find someone standing in the shadows of the room, only I'm alone. Completely alone, "You're much too smart to believe that you're alone darling." _

"_Nana?" I murmur my voice harsh in the darkness. _

"_Were you expecting the tooth fairy?" her easy humor and comforting voice is almost enough to bring a smile to my lips. _

_Almost. _

"_I don't know what I was expecting. I'm going to die aren't I?" I ask and I feel it then. A surge of energy washing over me, pushing the fear away leaving in its wake nothing but calm. _

"_No, I think not. It isn't your time. However, you wouldn't be in this position if you would have just listened to me. If you wouldn't have run from Eric." _

"_What is it with you and Eric? I mean he is the proverbial bad boy, shouldn't you be telling me to stay away, far away?" _

"_Eric today is nothing more than the product of his affliction. He has the potential to be so much more; you will help him see that. Now fight my sweet girl. Fight." _

"_How? Nanna? Nanna?" I call out but I know she's gone. I groan trying to move my arms and legs once more and I find much to my surprise that one of my hands comes free. It takes time, and when finally freed, I'm bathed in sweat. _

_I take a moment to catch my breath, try to gain my bearings before forcing myself to sit up. The silk dress Marguerite put me in is cut almost scandalously low in both the front and back, and I can see my skin glowing in a shaft of light through the window. I don't know what time it is Close to dawn maybe, or perhaps sunset. I pray it isn't sunset. I slide off the bed I was tied too and my legs buckle under me, making me fall to the soft carpet. I hiss out a breath as my ankles and wrists scream at me, and my head swims. After a cleansing breath I push myself back up and stumble towards the door. Thankful to find it unlocked. _

_Marguerite and whoever else she has lurking around must have truly believed that I would give up my life without a fight. I peer into the dimly lit hall, and decide to press forward. What's the worst that can happen? Of course I know the answer to that but I won't think about that now. I grit my teeth as my legs come alive, blood rushing back and my circulation waking up, and a few times my knees threatened to buckle but I press on, clutching the walls. _

_I'm so close. I can feel it. So close to the exit, so close to my freedom. Adrenaline kicks in and my legs move faster, carrying me swiftly to the last door and I push it open and on a sob of relief find myself outside. Fear skitters up my spine when I realize the sun is beginning its decent, and the way it kisses the horizon tells me I don't have much time. They'll be awake soon. Guess more time passed then I had thought. _

_I pick up the skirt of the dress and dash around the corner only to run headlong into something. _

"_Madi," Jason's voice is gravelly and I would jump back only his strong hands grasp my arms, and he stares down at me, dirt caked all over him. _

"_No. No," I scream, and that's all I can do as I'm dragged back towards the prison I had just escaped. _

**_XXX_**

My eyes flash open quickly and I try to sit up but find that my body refuses to work with me. I groan turning my head from side to side and find that I'm still stuck in the same God forsaken place I was before. Nothing's changed. I feel my throat thicken as tears once again start their descent down my face.

"Nana," I whisper, squeezing my eyes shut tight, "Nana please, I need your help."

"How sweet, she's talking to her dead grandmother," a menacing voice breaks through the silence around me and when I open my eyes slowly I find Jason staring down at me, eyes menacing as he licks his lips.

"Love, no taunting your dinner," Marguerite's voice I patient and kind, almost endearing.

"I'm so hungry," he growls his eyes zeroing in on the pulse I'm sure is jumping in my throat.

"Then we shall eat," and the sound of their fangs coming out has a new wave of fear washing over me. I scream out when teeth puncture my skin, and I keep on screaming as they feast on me.

"Help!" I scream out, "Help me please!"

"No one can hear you Madilyn; scream all you want," Marguerite purrs in my ear as she watches Jason continue to feed from me, "Darling slow down. Can't you feel it? The way her heart is picking up in pace, the way her fear is deepening the taste of her blood. It won't be much longer know…"

I feel it then. Feel my heart galloping and then hitching, beginning to slow, and my eyes feel heavy as I slowly blink, everything growing dim. I'm dying. This thought should be terrifying, but somehow I'm not scared. In fact, I'm ready. At least dead I won't have to worry about vampires, and werewolves. Won't have to worry about my Memory Keeper status.

I smile at that thought, and just as I'm ready to dive headlong into the awaiting darkness, I hear that voice. That sweet, masculine voice I was almost certain I would never hear again.

"She's. Mine," Eric's voice growls through my foggy head and I open my eyes to find the tall Viking god like man standing in the door and he looks foreboding. All broad shoulders and wild blonde hair, icy blue eyes and white, very shiny pointy fangs glinting in what little light is in the room, and I laugh.

A most inappropriate reaction given my current situation but I can't seem to help myself.

"Is this guy for real?" Jason grumbles and before I can blink Eric has him by the throat and lifted off the ground.

"I assure you I am very much for real," Eric says and one minute Jason dangles from his hand, and the next he explodes, in a horrific mass of blood and goo.

"NO!" Marguerite's wails resound around me and I stare in disbelief, "Qu'avez vous fait?"

"I killed your progeny that's what I did, and I am telling you this right now that you will never set foot back in Louisiana, and if you do I will know about it, and I will end you. Get the fuck out, now!"

"Vous payerez pour cela, je le jure," Marguerite's voice is small and shaking as she stares coldly at Eric before sweeping out of the room.

**_XXX_**

My eyes are rolling wildly around in my head and the only thing I can make out is Eric standing over me, a distraught look marring his devastatingly attractive face.

"Madilyn," Eric murmurs as he brushes a wide palmed hand over my hair, "What the fuck did you get yourself into now?"

"I…" my voice is harsh as I suddenly cough violently blood splattering on the creamy white skin of Eric's throat.

"Shh," he whispers a small strangled whimper coming from my lips as he releases my binds and before I can say anymore his blood fills my mouth and I drink deeply.

I know something isn't right though. I can tell by the look on his face, more importantly though, I can tell because my heart seems to still be pumping sluggishly, and the rush from the consumption of Eric's blood doesn't come. Instead its fear that washes over me, coursing through me.

He lifts me slowly, gently if that's even possible for Eric Northman and as I'm cradled against his chest I see why even he looks concerned. Blood, my blood, paints the bed I had been trapped on, and continues to spill at an alarming rate and I wonder why. Eric's blood should have done its magical job and healed whatever is broken.

Instead, my head rolls, sickly limp and the last thing I see are Eric and his fear.


	12. Chapter 12: Safe and Sound

**Author's Note: Hey Everyone! First I want to say thank you to all the new followers, people who have fovorited, and alerted. Seriously, it makes me so happy whenever I get the notifications! I Hope that this chapter is enjoyed by all of you. On another note, at the bottom of this chapter I will explain something from this chapter, I don't want to do it here because it would spoil it (: Thanks for reading! As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 12: Safe And Sound<strong>

"_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down, you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now, come morning light, you and I'll be safe and sound."-Safe and Sound, Taylor Swift and The Civil Wars._

Silence.

Sweet, warm, and calming silence.

If I knew dying was going to be like this, I would have stopped being scared a long time ago. A nagging pain in my right arm though tells me that I'm not in fact dead, either that or all of the things I was told about death was completely wrong.

"_When will she wake up?"_ a distant voice trickles through and I can almost smile knowing that voice anywhere.

Payton.

"_She lost nearly three quarters of her blood volume…"_ the other voice slides away. I don't want to hear the rest. Don't need to know what else is being said, I just want to sleep.

Falling away, that's how it feels, as I tumble into the odd mixture of light and dark, strangely being pulled in two directions, and I'm willing to go wherever I'm most warmly embraced.

I'm thrust from sleep, eyes flashing open as the images of my blood filled dreams start slowly fading away. The hospital room is quiet except for the eerie sound of machines humming and beeping. My entire body is stiff and achy. From my toes to my head, it all hurts.

The tube shoved down my throat is just icing to my cake. I gag on it, trying to push it out but it doesn't budge, not even the slightest bit.

"Madi?" Payton's quiet voice rolls through the room and I look up finding her disheveled, eyes rimmed red and shadowed by apparent lack of sleep. I try to talk but can't and I give a frustrated groan that sounds more like a wet gurgle, "It's okay, stay calm, you're okay."

Okay? I'm okay? Somehow I don't think that my current state means that I'm okay. I know that I'm alive and that at least is something.

I think.

My heart shutters a little, aching in my chest when I see the tears sliding down her cheek as she takes my hand and I squeeze trying to reassure her that despite what I must look like in this moment that everything is going to be alright.

"You had us so scared Madi, we thought…." Her voice trails off as she shakes her head before dropping it down so that her face is hidden in the linen of the hospital bed, "We thought you were going to die."

Didn't I though? Didn't I die? That's what it felt like. For one sweet moment I was no longer attached to my body, instead I was floating happily away from all of it. From the pain, the worry, the anguish that has become my life, and instead of being allowed to continue my journey to the beyond, or wherever the hell it is that's waiting out there for us after our lives are done, I was pulled back.

Then it hits me, like the weight of the world falling squarely on my shoulders just how unfair it all is, unfair that I was denied a reprieve from my mortal life, denied the sweet escape of death. I feel the tears stinging the back of my eyes and before I know it they slide hotly down my cheeks.

I feel my hands balling tightly into fists on the bed, and my body moves without me really wanting it too, and I realize I'm fighting. I'm fighting the fact that I'm alive.

"Doctor! Doctor!" Payton's voice is hoarse and full of panic as she shoves out of the chair and flies to the door of the hospital room, and in what seems like just a split second of time I'm surrounded by doctors and nurses in pristine scrubs and serious looks, and with the prick of a needle my world fades away and the darkness once again embraces me.

**_XXX_**

"_You shouldn't be here…." A quiet voice drifts across me, and I open my eyes slowly, finding myself lying under the hanging branches of a weeping willow tree. Patches of clear blue sky peeking through and I smile as I curl my toes and fingers into lush green grass. I turn my head slowly and find a most welcoming face staring back at me. _

"_Momma?" I ask sitting up slowly and her laugh is light and easy, dancing on the air around me. _

"_Madi, you have to go back," her voice is serious and stern and just as full of motherly authority as I remember it having. _

"_Why? Why can't I just stay? I can stay with you, here. Where's Daddy?" I ask, and she shakes her head at me sadly, "Momma?" _

"_He isn't here. He's moved on already. He didn't have anything left to do, and I miss him so, but I'll be with him soon. You however, still have time left, and you aren't supposed to be here." _

"_I don't understand. Mom, my life is so messed up…" _

"_I know it is my baby, but it will get better. It'll get a lot worse first," she says her voice ripe with pain. _

"_Worse?" I demand, standing up quickly, "How can it possibly get worse?"_

"_You carry a worlds worth of burden in you, and it will depend on you…" _

"_What will depend on me?" _

"_Lives, my baby, so many lives will depend on you. Payton's, Sookie's, Bill's….Eric's…" My heart catches at the mention of his name, and with a knowing smile on her lips she reaches a hand out to me, brushing fingers I always thought were beautiful and elegant down my cheek and I see the shimmer of tears in her eyes, "You love him." _

"_I don't," I counter, stubbornly turning my face away from her, and she tenderly takes my face between her hands, her soft, soft hands, and turns me to look at her. _

"_You do. You're stubborn, and scared, but you do, even if you aren't willing to admit it yet. You have to go back now My Baby," she says and I hug her tight. Breathing her in, willing her scent, and her feel to memory, "He's a hard man Madi, but you hold the key to what he is capable of becoming. I love you My Baby, and I'm always watching you. Always…." _

**_XXX_**

"Mom…"I jolt awake, blinking sluggish eyes around the room. It's different. Different then the first room I woke in. Instead of the sterile smell of hospital, the air has the light scent of roses, and lavender. I turn my head, find that I'm definitely not in a hospital, and if I am, then it has to be, hands down, the nicest hospital I have ever seen.

"Morning," a deep voice rolls through the room, calling my attention away from the mini mountain of flowers decorating the window sill, and find Bill standing by the door, arms crossed over his chest.

"Time is it?" the words come out slightly slurred and I realize my mouth feels like it is full of cotton as I try to sit up.

"Hang on, let me help you," Bill says lightly, and in a blink of an eye he is by my side, helping me sit up, "You must be thirsty."

"Very," I say, finding that the small act of sitting up has left me winded, "Where am I?"

"Your safe," he assures me, and I feel like he's holding something back from me, but I decide not to push him as he holds in his hand a glass of water, and my I desperately want it, "Here, small sips." I take the glass from his hand and drink slowly, reveling as the cool liquid slides down my throat, quenching my thirst, "Eric should be here soon."

"Why?" I ask my eyes searching his face and he smiles, a soft kind smile as he sets my empty glass on the counter by the bed.

"It's his shift."

"His shift?" I ask biting back a laugh, "What am I a nine to five?"

"More like a dusk to dawn." I laugh. Loudly and freely. Bill Compton has one hell of a sense of humor.

"Don't you have your own human to entertain Bill?" that voice, that sweet sarcastic voice I thought I would never hear again, and swore I wouldn't miss fills the room and I find Eric standing in the door, a dark look on his face.

"I was merely keeping your guest entertained Eric," Bill spits back at him, and in a most unsettling movement Bill hugs me, lightly and delicately, before leaving the room.

We stare at each other, measuring each other, and before I can open my mouth Eric's across the room, his lips crushing down on mine, one hand cupping my face the other tightly wrapped around the back of my neck, and rather than trying to shove him away I find myself returning the kiss, feverishly.

"You. Are. Mine," Eric's words are hard and punctuated with kisses between them, before he rests his forehead against mine, "Do you understand the danger you put yourself in? What were you thinking leaving Fangtasia?"

"I don't know…" I answer truthfully, and when he pulls away enough to be sitting on the edge of the bed, I really look at him. He looks tired. Like he hasn't been sleeping, or eating. As impossible as it is, he looks as if he's aged.

"I should put you on a leash," he mumbles and I roll my eyes to the ceiling shaking my head.

"That won't be necessary."

"Good, then you should know I've made the arrangements for you to move into my house." It takes a moment, just a moment, for his words spoken so nonchalantly to sink in.

"Absolutely not," I stammer but he holds a hand up effectively quieting me.

"It's not up for discussion Madilyn," he all but growls at me, "It's the only way I can be sure you'll stay put and stay safe."

"I'm not yours to order around Eric!" I scream out, wincing when my throat protests and begins burning.

"You are!" he rages, flying around the room, pacing madly, "When are you going to get it through your thick skull that you are mine! You were mine before you were born! You were promised to me!"

"What?" I say, trying to process the words that just came out of his mouth, and I watch as he realizes what he just said, and as quickly as he was in the room, he's gone. Leaving me to stare after him and try to keep up with the swirling thoughts in my head.

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><p><strong>Author's Note 2: So the twist at the end, with Eric telling Madi that she was promised to him before she was born, was an idea I had come up with before even beginning the current season. I just thought it was funny that Sookie found out in the current season that she was promised or "sold" in her words to Warlow lol. Complete coincedence I promise lol. Okay enough of my ramblings! Remember, review, pretty please with Sugar on top?!<strong>


	13. Chapter 13: Unanswered Question

**Author's Note: I am going to try and keep this short. First and foremost a huge thank you to ThatGirl54...words2live (thank you for pointing out the grammar mistakes, I mean this seriously, it helps when I know where I mess up!)...and MommaLou for the reviews! Seriously you don't know how much it means to me. Every review, favorite, subscriber, follower boosts me and drives me to keep doing what I'm doing. I hope that this chapter doesn't disappoint, and if it does, don't be afraid to tell me (in a nice, contructive way as flamers and mean people will not be tolerated) or if you love this chapter, or this story don't be afraid to tell me either! Makes my day that much brighter when people take the time out to let me know what they think. Thanks again. Onto Chapter 13, as always Read/Enjoy/Review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 13: Unanswered Question and Bitter Betrayal<strong>

"_Sometimes I wonder what is worse, what is left unsaid and unknown, or knowing the truth and being destroyed by it."-Unknown._

_XXX_

Time moves slowly, seconds fading into minutes melting into hours, and I can't bring myself to move. Can't bring myself to go after Eric and find out what he meant when he said I was promised to him. Afraid of the answer, but more so terrified by the jolt of pleasure that it gave me to hear those words come out of his mouth.

I don't want to belong to him.

I don't want to belong to anyone. So why did those words feel so good to hear? I wipe my fingers under my eyes, frustrated that the tears still haven't stopped. Honestly how long can one person cry? My heart jumps when I hear the door open and hazarding a peek I find Payton slipping into the room.

"Payton," I say sitting up slowly, and she smiles at me a quick flash before a look of concern fills her face.

"Madi, what's wrong?" Payton asks rushing to me and I shake my head throwing my arms around her.

"I'm scared, P. Eric, he…"

"What did that giant ass of a vampire do now?" she asks sitting back to rub her hands up and down my arms and I stare at her, trying to find a way to explain, but I'm not ready to.

Not yet.

If Eric isn't going to tell me what I want to know, I know a way to find out.

"I need to go home Payton," I say but she shakes her head at me seriously.

"Oh no, you saw what happened the last time you snuck away from Eric," she says and I groan grabbing her hand, "I may not like the vamper, but he can and will keep you safe."

"Payton, please," I say begging her; "You know I wouldn't ask if this wasn't important to me." She studies me for a few minutes and I know I have her before she even says anything.

"Shit, okay. I'll help you, but I swear to God Madi anything bad happens to you or me, I'll kill you," she says and I nod my head in understanding, "I'll be back for you in a couple of hours. Be ready."

"Okay," I whisper, "Payton…"

"Yeah," she looks back at me a soft smile on her lips.

"Thanks."

"Anytime, besides what are best friends for?"

**_XXX_**

True to her word Payton is back in a couple of hours, slipping back into my room and I get up happy to find that my body doesn't ache nearly as much as it did before.

"We have a fifteen minute window to get the hell out of here Madi," she says her voice a whisper and I nod my head, gratefully taking the change of clothes in her hand, "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes I'm sure," I say changing as quickly as I can, "I'll explain everything once we get back to the house, I promise, you just have to trust me."

"I wouldn't be busting you out if I didn't believe that you had a reason behind it, you ready?" she asks and I nod my head, "Okay, stay close."

I follow her into the hall, shutting the door quietly behind me and it takes a few seconds for my eyes to adjust to how dark it is. Payton takes my hand and we begin walking, all the while my heart leaps in my chest and I try desperately to calm it. I'm so disoriented, trying to figure out just where the hell I am, but it's futile because it's pitch black all around me.

"Hold on," Payton says letting go of my hand and I feel myself starting to panic and I listen as she knocks softly on glass, "I'm going to boost you up. Alcide is on the other side; he'll pull you up and out." I nod my head bracing a hand on her shoulder and she lifts me, and then strong hands are wrapped around my wrists and I'm pulled through the window. I lay smiling, eyes closed. I honestly thought I would never feel grass again. I open my eyes seeing the early morning sunshine casting shadows through the trees that surround the house.

"Hey there pretty eyes," Alcide's deep voice rolls over me and I laugh lightly letting him help me up to my feet.

"Hey yourself," I murmur and I watch as he leans back down easily plucking my best friend through the window.

"We should go," he murmurs and before I can say anything he sweeps me up into his arms and he's running. I curl into him arms circled tight around his neck and my face buried into his broad chest and I feel at peace, even if it's momentary, it's peace. The wind rushing through my hair, the birds singing their early morning songs, and it all seems so perfect. So normal.

**_XXX_**

Everything looks the same. I don't know why I thought it would look different. Maybe because I was gone for so long. Not that I know exactly how long I was floating between this world and the other. I stare at the front door, tears pricking the back of my eyes and I blink them back, demanding myself to hold onto my composure, because I am so tired of crying.

"Madi…" Alcide's voice is small and I look over at him, smiling softly.

"I don't know how long I've been gone for," I murmur and he shoves large hands in his pockets kicking a large boot at the aged wood of my porch.

"A month," Payton's voice comes from behind me, and I'm not as surprised as I should be by the news. It seemed so much longer and yet like this all happened in just a handful of days.

"A month," I say rolling the words around in my mouth, "I don't have my key…"

"I have the spare," and I watch as Payton slides the key into the lock and with a final look over her shoulder at me she pushes it open. It hits me, like storm raged waves, the memories of this place. Not the few I managed to make in the house, but memories Nana had made. I feel them, all of them washing over me, and I smile, because it feels as if I'm being welcomed home. As if Nana and her memories are celebrating my return.

"I have to go," Alcide says from the door and I turn to look at him and following instinct I throw my arms around him.

"Thank you Alcide," I say and his warm, rumbling laughter helps push my worry further away.

"Anytime Pretty Eyes," he says and before he can turn to leave Payton speaks up.

"Alcide do you think you can run me to Sookie's?"

"Your leaving?" I ask her suddenly feeling full of panic.

"Just for an hour and half, two hours tops. I need to go to Sookie's pick up my things, and my car, and then I'm coming back here. Will you be okay alone? Do you want to come?" she asks and I weigh my options.

"No, I'll stay. Take a bath, and start looking for what I came here for," I say and she looks at me worried, biting her lip nervously.

"Are you sure?" she presses and I nod my head.

"Yes, I'm sure. I'll lock up behind you, and you can text me when you're on your way back," I reassure her, and she waits a few seconds before following Alcide through the door and before I can shut it she turns back and hugs me tight, making my still aching body come to life with all new aches and pains, "Stay safe Madi. Don't open this door, not for anyone, or anything okay? Promise me."

"I promise, now go," I urge her and I watch as she walks down the steps of the front porch and climbs into the passenger seat of the car, and with a lift of my hand I wave her off before closing the door and locking it tight.

**_XXX_**

I take my time undressing in front of the floor length mirror in my bathroom. I look the same, if you take away the way my ribs seem more predominant under the stretched skin of my stomach thanks to a month long diet of I.V fluids, and the bruises of mixed greens and blues that bloom all over my body. I brush my fingers softly over the tender spots realizing that I feel completely alien in my own skin. I shiver when a kick of cool air from the open window causes goose bumps to rise on my arms and legs, prickling against the skin at the back of my neck.

I see him then, Eric, standing right behind me a hand reaching out and cupping around the my neck before tilting my head to the side and sinking glistening white fangs into the smooth skin of my throat. I whirl around, air rushing in and out of my lungs.

Of course I knew it wasn't real. Wasn't real because it's daylight out and Eric couldn't venture into the sun. I press a hand to my heart to get it to calm down while I cross to the bathtub turning the water up as hot as I can stand, and while waiting for it to fill I pour my favorite lilac scented bubbles into the water and snap the window shut.

An hour long bath and the familiar feel of my own clothes is almost enough to have me feeling somewhat normal again as I trudge slowly down the stairs and head into the sunroom. There glistening in the light are my bookshelves and with knowing eyes I scan for the row that holds Nana's journals. My fingers run over old spines and my heart catches when I realize one is missing.

There had been six, there is now only five.

Son of a bitch. Fucking Eric.

_**XXX**_

I'm pacing angrily in front of the front room window, one arm crossed tightly against my chest, my free hand tugging at my lip because it can't find anything else to do except maybe pull my hair out but that would do me no good and I rather like my hair. My heart thumps when I hear a car turning into the drive and a sigh of relief quickly follows when I see Payton stepping out of her shiny black car.

I throw open the door as she rushes up the stairs and she has her hands on my shoulders, hands running up and down my arms.

"Are you okay? You sounded half-crazy in your voicemail," Payton says and I drag her in the house slamming the door behind her and throwing the lock.

"Who was in my house?" I ask her straight out and she looks at me perplexed, "When I was…away…who was in my house?"

"What are you talking about?" she asks and I pull her by the wrist into the sun room.

"Nana's journals, there were six; one of them is missing now. Who was in my house Payton?" I ask again, my voice rising as my anger bubbles even more fiercely in my blood.

"I don't know. We were all pretty much on around the clock watch duty over you. Sookie and I took days, Bill and Eric took nights…except…"

"Except what?"

"Last night, Bill texted Sookie and told her he would be taking Eric's night last night as well. It was strange because he had just left you when he ended up going back…"

"Fucking Eric," I growl feeling hot tears of anger and betrayal threatening to swallow me whole.

"What is it? What's wrong?"

"Eric said I was promised to him Payton, before I was born. He drops that bomb on me after kissing me senseless and declaring that I'm his and that I'll be moving in with him, and then he just leaves. I didn't go after him, I was shocked and confused, but I knew if anyone would have the answers it would be Nana and she would put it in her journals," I say giving into the tears as I sit on the couch burying my face in my heads sobbing profusely.

"Oh Madi…"she sits beside me wrapping me in her arms as she lets me cry it out, "We'll figure this out. I promise." Her words may as well have fallen on deaf ears because as infuriated as I am by the fact that Eric stole something so personal from me, I'm not entirely sure I don't want to be his, and that terrifies me.

**_XXX_**

My heart rate has steadily been climbing as hour by hour has ticked away and it comes closer and closer to sundown. I know he'll be here. Eric. In all his furious, glowering, attractive fury, and I'm going to have to stand my ground. Show him I'm not helpless, that I don't need to be protected or shielded from the truth.

After all it's my life.

My destiny.

This is why I sent Payton away even though she fought every damn second it took me to make her realize I have to do this on my own.

'_I don't trust him Madi; I won't leave you to face him alone….what if he gets violent? What if he bites you?' _Payton's worry filled voice fills my head and I shake my head lightly trying to make them go away. I believe deep down inside of me that no harm will come from this discussion, because even if I'm pissed at him, I know somewhere that Eric means me no harm. I hope.

I sit staring at the front door my breath growing shallow as it grows progressively darker outside and I wait, and much to my surprise I don't jump when my front door snaps open and Eric strides in, all disheveled hair and sexy anger exuding off of him.

"You must really have a death wish little girl…"


	14. Chapter 14: Darkest Before Dawn

**Author's Note: A huge thank you to MommaLou, ThatGirl54, and Sovereignty3 for the reviews and to everyone who has added, alerted, and favorited this story and/or me as an author. It is always nice to get some positive reinforcement. I am also taking the advice of Sovereignty3 (and slapping myself for not thinking of it myself) and at the end of this chapter will be the translations for the Swedish used in this chapter. So I will apologize now if it isn't 100% correct, it was gained through Microsoft and Google Translate. As always Read/Enjoy/Review!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 14: Darkest Before Dawn<strong>

"_It's always darkest before the dawn,"-Unknown_

**_XXX_**

Eric paces madly in front of me his long legs eating up the floor with every stride he takes and I can't help but notice the glint of light on his shiny black boots. Perhaps it's a coping mechanism, at least if I concentrate on his shoes I don't have to listen as he verbally assaults me. I do however notice when he slips into his native tongue, a language I can't even begin to comprehend and he shoves his hands through his hair.

"Are you even listening to me? Get your things, we're leaving," Eric's voice suddenly pulls me from my thoughts and I smile sarcastically at him.

"You are more than welcome to leave, I however am going to stay right here," I say knowing that my voice sounds like ice, but at this point I don't really care how big of a bitch I'm coming across as. After all, he's the one who stole from me.

"The fuck if you are!" he roars at me and I swear for a second I see his hands spasming as if he's trying to stop himself from either doing serious damage to my furniture of simply lift me over his shoulder and steal me away kicking and screaming.

"You don't get it do you?" I ask calmly and he stops his pacing to look at me, "You don't get to tell me what I can and cannot do, and you sure as hell don't get to come into my house and tell me that I can't stay here."

"You. Are. Mine," he says each word punctuated by the grinding of his teeth.

"Save the "You Are Mine," crap for one of the more than willing fang bangers in your bar, because it isn't going to work on me. I am not going to swoon because big bad Eric Northman has staked his claim to me," I hiss at him venomously, "I'm not going anywhere with you."

"You have two choices Madilyn, gather what you need and come willingly or I will drag you out of this house kicking and screaming!" and I push to my feet refusing to be afraid of him. Refusing to let him bully me.

"Give me back my Nana's journal, or get the hell out of my house!" I scream at him and I'm surprised when he seems to be pulled back several feet towards the front door.

"Madi!" his voice is suddenly different, and I realize its shock that I hear, "Please."

I stare at him. Oddly captivated by the worry in his eyes and the look of desperation on his face as he holds a death grip on the wooden door frame of the front door, and I realize that for the first time since stepping foot in this God forsaken state that I hold the power.

"You do not get to decide my life for me; you do not get to tell me only bits and pieces and you do not get to own me. I am my own person. I am not going to walk around with a great big Property of Eric Northman disclaimer tattooed on my forehead. I am done with all of this, and with you. Get the hell out of my house…now!" He flies backwards, landing hard with an undignified _'oomph'_ on the grass and I feel empowered. He gets to his feet and before he can take a step towards me I slam the door shut and flip the lock.

I collapse as soon as the door is shut; breath shuddering in and out of me, like a piece of me is breaking away, disappearing. I can't stop it now, the tears. They come, an onslaught of pain as Eric beats his hands against the door, screaming my name and begging for me to open the door, and I find myself wanting to do just that. I feel the deepest urge to open the door to bring him back in to make this all make sense again, but I can't.

I literally cannot move. Can't lift my hand and open the door. All I can do is weep as his voice resounds in my head and all around me. I clap my hands over my ears, rocking back and forth to try and comfort myself and drown out the sound of his voice as I wish to be anywhere but here.

**_XXX_**

The phone rings. I ignore it. It's become second nature to hear Sookie's voice, Alcide's voice, Payton's voice, Bill's voice…Eric's…all filling up my answering machine, and all go unreturned. I don't want to talk. I don't want to eat…think…sleep. What I want is to forget. Forget all about being a Memory Keeper. Forget that I almost died…twice. Forget that Eric Northman claimed me as his, before I was born. Forget about Nana's journals, and the one that's missing, that I know Eric took to keep my history hidden from me.

I can't forget though, because I am damned to remember everything.

I stare out of the window, watching the way the sun kisses the horizon, and he'll be here soon. Standing at the bottom of the porch stairs, staring and waiting, and I know he watches me, watch him. It's been the routine for nearly a week. I should be flattered. After all, Eric Northman can have any human he wants, so why does it agitate me so much?

"Because you're fighting an unwinnable battle," Nanna says and I roll my eyes at her, "Don't you roll your eyes at me young lady."

"I don't want to be his Nanna," I say and she laughs and from the sudden breeze of cool air I know she's close.

"Yes you do, you're just pissed because you didn't find the conclusion all on your own," she says and finally I turn to her, smiling when her happy eyes meet mine.

"He's insufferable Nanna. He's dark, cold, unfeeling…How can I be his? He doesn't see me as a person…he sees me as property, something to be obtained, to put his brand on, and when I say brand I mean two puncture marks on my throat to announce to the world that I am his. What kind of life would that be?" I ask, dropping my head to my hands, and I feel her brushing a hand over my hair, "He stole your journal…"

"Did he? Are you sure it was Eric, or are you just hell bent on blaming him for everything because hating him would be easier than opening yourself to the possibility of loving him?" she asks and I look up only to find myself alone, part of me wondering if she was here at all. Regardless, her words make me think. I find myself standing in front of the door and before I can stop myself, pulling it open.

Eric's eyes seem so much bluer than I remember them being is the only thought that I can coherently think as he walks slowly up the steps, and each step looks as if it's agonizing for him.

"If I let you back in, it's going to be on my terms Eric," I say my voice betraying me as it shakes and he studies me before silently inclining his head in agreement, "The only way is if you agree to tell me what you know about….about me being promised to you."

"Fine," Eric says his voice carrying the tone of exhaustion.

"Please come in," the words aren't out of my mouth for a full second before he is in the house and I shut door behind him. He stands for the longest time, his back to me, and I can't seem to bring myself to ask him to turn around, to look at me. Instead, I climb onto the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Long silence filling the room around us as I stare at his broad shoulders and the way his blonde hair flirts with the nape of his neck, and for a moment the thought of pressing my lips where hair and skin meets flashes before my eyes and I clear my throat and with that Eric is pulled from his silent revelry and in the blink of an eye he is sitting on the table in front of me, elbows braced on his legs. Hands linked in front of him and he stares at me.

"Eric…" the words slide down my throat when he takes my hand.

"It was November," he says and I feel my eyes clouding over as he starts talking, scenes flashing before my eyes in a blur, the only thing coming in clear is the rain. I can almost feel it, the sticky heat of humidity on my skin, "I was looking for food when I heard her. To anyone else she would have been drowned out by the sound the city, but I could hear her, clear as a bell. She was barely holding on, but it wasn't just her. There was another heartbeat, strong and wild, sprinting the wild sprint away from death. She was lying in the middle of a deserted road, body broken and in a pool of her own blood, and it, intrigued me…" I smell it then, the coppery smell of blood just under the veil of warm rain.

"I knew she carried something special. Could smell it in her blood, and she touched me. Knew what I was before I even said a word and she begged me to save her life. Not for her, it was never for her, it was for you. So she made a pact…a blood pact with me. In exchange for my blood, she promised me you."

I draw my hand back, tears flooding my face as I realize that it was my Mother. My mother promised me to a vampire before I was born, and before I can react I see the blood on the back of my hand. I look up finding that Eric is bleeding. His nose, mouth, ears.

"Eric…you're bleeding," I murmur and he smiles a slow haunting smile.

"I haven't fed in a while…"he says his voice weary and I fidget with my fingers.

"Feed then, on me," the words tumble so fast out of my lips I don't even realize what I've said until I've said it. I nervously bite my lip as he studies me intently.

"Madilyn…" my name is whisper on his lips as I nervously twist my fingers, "I told you I wouldn't drink from you unless you meant it."

"I mean it, just not…not from my neck. My wrist, I can cover it better on the wrist," I say holding a hand out to him turning it over, and I see him studying the delicate skin where my veins lay in wait. He takes my hand in his again and I shiver, realizing how cold he feels to me, and he stares at me intently.

"You're sure?" Eric's voice is tight with anticipation, and for just a moment my hand spasms in his and the little voice in my head is working overtime and screaming at me telling me I'm crazy if I let him do it. Somewhere deep down though, I know that I trust him, and maybe that's because of whatever blood pact that my Mother made with him, or maybe it's simply because he's worth trusting, I don't know.

"I'm sure," I whisper and I'm stunned into silence when he brushes his lips to my exposed skin, feathering light kisses and then comes the pain. A burning pain where razor sharp fangs tear the flesh and on a sharp intake of breath the pain ebbs giving way to a delicious type of pain, one that lights a fire deep in the pit of my stomach and I feel my eyes fluttering shut giving over to the primal need be needed by Eric.

_**XXX**_

_Eric, tall, strong, brave to a fault Eric, stands before a young man in white billowy clothes looking completely lost._

_"Godric, gör det, inte" Eric begs, and even though I don't understand the language I can tell he's in anguish. _

_"Det finns århundraden av tro och kärlek mellan oss" the man speaks and my heart shudders as Eric pleads dropping to his knee's tears of blood rolling down his face. _

_"__Snälla, __snälla, snälla __Godric__," Eric's crying is almost more than I can bear and I try desperately to escape this very real, very intimate memory that I don't belong in._

"_Fader, broder, son," Godric says a look of sadness on his face, "Let me go." _

"_I wont let you die alone," Eric says his tears stopping as he takes a deep breath. _

"_Yes you will," Godric says resting a hand on hisshoulder as Eric gets to his feet and it's amazing the difference in size that is between the two, and the immense love that is almost unfathomable. _

"_As your maker. I command you..." _

The memory falls away and I open my eyes finding that my face is wet as is Eric's. I encroached on a very private memory and I can see it twisting Eric in knots as he sits before me, his eyes intense. I want to reach out to him, wipe away his tears but I'm afraid of what would happen if I tried making any sort of physical contact with him.

"Eric, I'm sorry..." I say but I know the apology is useless. I saw something I was never supposed to see, something that wasn't mine to know.

"That's going to be an annoying by-product of this relationship," Eric growls out and for a minute all I can do is stare at him owlishly, wondering what type of 'relationship,' we're in, "Will you come home with me now?"

"No," I say shaking my head at him.

"Then you give me no choice, I'll move in here," he says so easily it takes a second for me to catch up.

"Wait, Eric, what do you mean you'll move in here, Eric, Eric answer me," I call after him as he walks from the room leaving me cursing him and shaking my head.

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><p><strong><span>Translations:<span> **

**_"Godric, gör det, inte"_=Godric, don't do it. **

**_"Det finns århundraden av tro och kärlek mellan oss_"=There are centuries of faith and love between us.**

**_"__Snälla, __snälla, snälla __Godric__,"=Please, please, please Godric. _**

_**"Fader, broder, son"=Father, brother, child.** _

_Again sorry if it's not one hundred percent correct. _

_Remember...Reviews are loved and adored!_


	15. Chapter 15: Damned If I Do, Damned If I

**Author's Note 1: First I want to say sorry for it taking me a little longer to get this chapter out. Things have been a little crazy (health wise and my sons first couple of weeks of school.) I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Ryanrene97, Guest (wish I knew your name) fallunder and Missblackvelvot for all of your amazing reviews! Each and everyone made my day when I received them. **

**With that said, in reply to Nyssa The Anime Queen, I want to say thank you for your flaming review. I have to admit you did put a hitch in my step for about two seconds until you misspelled in your review telling me how I constantly misspelled your, and you're. With that said, I'm sorry you didn't like my story but there are thousands of other stories on this site for you to read that I'm sure are better than mine, and it would be greatly appreciated if you never review my story again. **

**Now that the messy stuff is out of the way I want to stress for any future flamers that this story is completely written by me without a beta. So any misspellings or improper grammar I take full responsibility for and though I try to catch all of them, some do slip through the cracks, but I like to believe that a few misspelled words or grammar mistakes don't in any way take away from the story I'm trying to tell. **

**At the end of this chapter there will be another Author's Note with a competition of sorts that I would love for all of my readers to participate in. Now onto Chapter Fifteen. As Always, Read/Enjoy/Review!**

**XO~Amber**

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><p><strong>Chapter 15: Damned If You Do, Damned If You Don't<strong>

"_And I'm damned if I do, and I'm damned if I don't, So here's to drinks in the dark and a shot at my throat, and I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope, it's a shot in the dark and straight at my throat."-Florence and the Machine-Shake It Out._

**_XXX_**

It's unsettling to know a vampire sleeps just down the stairs in my basement. Even more so that I've transitioned so smoothly to sharing space with him that True Blood now sits in my fridge for him, not that he has or plans on drinking it, in fact he laughed hysterically when he saw it taking up residence on the top shelf. I've grown accustomed to the undeniable and frustrating realization that at sundown he comes up the stairs looking as if he's just stepped off the cover a magazine instead of from a death like state of sleep.

I don't even want to know what all he moved down there as I made myself scarce for _'moving day,'_ and refused every invitation to have a look for myself. Instead I have found great pleasure in treating him as an unwelcome but necessary guest in my home kind of like a distant relative you don't really like but have to tolerate.

It's easy really, to compartmentalize him in that way. It's safe to think of him as an aggravation then to think of him in the way I've been finding myself drifting towards to almost seamlessly as of late, especially when he insists on hovering around me. It's easy to get lost in him and the enormity of his persona. Watching the way his clothes seem to hug him just right, and controlling myself from saying _'to hell with being sensible jump the thousand year old vampire,' _when he finds any excuse to lean over me brush against me as he sits next to me on the couch is getting harder and harder every damn night.

I sigh as I roll over in bed trying to get myself into a comfortable position and immediately shriek when I see Eric laying behind me, eyes amused and glittering.

"Did I scare you?" Eric's voice drifts through the air and I sit up slapping him on the chest and before I can pull away he snags my wrist, easily circling his fingers around me, "I need to feed."

"There is perfectly good True Blood downstairs, all you have to do is warm it up," I say trying to pull myself from his grip but he doesn't let go, instead he strokes at the sensitive skin over my veins and I know he can feel the way my pulse quickens because of the motion.

"I'm in the mood for something a little more…organic," he murmurs and I jump despite myself when his fangs become unsheathed, and a part of me wonders if I will ever get used to seeing and hearing him do that.

"Then go to Fangtasia. I'm sure you'll find a plethora of willing meals on heel's there," I say giving once final tug to my arm freeing it from his grasp.

"I won't leave you here alone," he says looking put out and if I didn't know any better I'd swear that Eric Northman was pouting, though I'm almost certain _'pouting'_ is something a man of his station would never, ever do.

"Then I guess you're out of options, Eric. I don't need, or want a babysitter. I take care of myself just fine during daylight hours, I'm sure I can handle a night alone, besides you need to feed, I'm not cleaning up after another bleeding session," I tell him seriously, and he just stares at me, as if he's studying me, trying to decide how best to approach pressing the issue.

"The last time I let you out of my sight you ended up being served up as an all you can eat buffet for a baby vamp, so you're coming with me to Fangtasia, or you'll let me feed from you, your choice." I contemplate it for a few minutes looking at him, then at my wrist that has been firmly wrapped in my favorite leather bracelet since the one and only time he's ever laid his fangs on me, and decide to go with the lesser of two evils.

"Fine, I'll go to Fangtasia."

"Excellent," he says and before I can say anything else he's up and rooting around in my closet, and to my horror he pulls out the lacy black dress I had worn the night Payton came into town and lays it on the bed for me.

"I'm not wearing that."

"Yes you are."

"No. I'm not."

"You have to blend. I don't need you wearing anything that would have my kind slinking from the dark corners for a quick bite…"

"You know, living with you is becoming more and more of an inconvenience," I grumble and he laughs a quick dark sound before leaving me to get ready on my own. I let out a sigh before letting myself fall back on the bed.

At least I'll be getting out of the house.

**_XXX_**

I sit in a dark corner of Fangtasia nursing the one lonely glass of Merlot that I'm allowed to drink wondering why in the hell I thought, for even a second, that trying to lay guidelines down for my agreeing to attend Fangtasia with Eric would in any way benefit me. After all, it is his bar, so it's his rules. I drew the line firmly though when he told me I would stay all but glued to his side while he sits on his throne scanning the room for his dinner.

Under no circumstances will I now, or ever, agree to that.

I may be his, but damn it, it doesn't mean I have to like it, and I certainly will not be his _'wing man,' _(not that he needs one) in finding the most willing and undeniably skankiest girl in the club to sink his fangs into.

It's in the midst of my inner thoughts that I see him approaching. A tall, masculine figure, broad shoulders tapered waist, all wrapped up in in a tidy bow of tight jeans and a black polo. He smiles at me as he pulls the chair out across from me, taking a seat without bothering to ask if I was waiting for someone to join me.

"You look a little out of place here sugar," his voice is a slow southern drawl that I find oddly appealing and yet unsettling as I a chill rushes up my spine. I sit up a little bit straighter, trying desperately to emit _'shoo-fly don't bother me,'_ vibes. It doesn't work. Instead he just smiles, a slow gorgeous smile as his eyes lock onto mine, "You are by far, the most….delicious smelling woman in here…" I feel it then, the niggling at the back of my head, like curious fingers trying to break in and play puppet master to my brain.

"Tha...thank you," I murmur, "I think." I shake my head resisting the fog that seems to be slowly ebbing in.

"Why don't we…" his voice is gone and in its place nothing but white noise, and a lifetime (or a dozen for that matter) flash before my eyes, all seemingly blending together. Screaming women and the futile choking fight against the inevitable fill my head as I watch one after another picture flit by, all the same and yet different, it's like watching a flip book on death and dying by vampires.

"She's. Mine," Fangtasia comes back into focus, all the dark colors and crowds of people and maybe most importantly Eric, all territorial and cocky.

"Sorry Sherriff, no disrespect intended," the nameless man says and he quickly retreats while I'm still trying to shake the buzzing noise out of my head.

"You are becoming a bigger annoyance than I ever imagined. Come with me," Eric says his words almost brutal and I don't bother trying to fight it when he grips my arm firmly in his hand and leads me to the throne. He snaps a finger and out of nowhere a chair appears and he sits me in it before taking his seat. In his throne, because apparently, that's just what vampires do. At least the ancient Viking kinds do.

It becomes monotonous after a time. Watching the people, living and non-living, filter in and out. Sweating bodies pressed tight against cold ones, and before I know it I find myself drifting off. Eyes fluttering closed as the loud music serves as a good buffer between me and the unsavory sounds of the eaters and those being eaten. I kick my heels off, curling my legs up, head pillowed on my arms and fall into my dreams.

**_XXX_**

I blink my eyes open and all I see is black leather. Really nice black leather and I sit up slowly my body aching just slightly from the position I was asleep in, and I notice a few things. One, I'm no longer in the club part of Fangtasia, two I'm in what I can only hope is Eric's office, and three I am no longer in my black lace dress but instead a Fangtasia shirt three sizes too big hangs on me, sliding off one shoulder.

Fucking Eric.

It seems to me that he has managed to get me out of my clothes more times than I care to think about and all without my knowledge. I swing my legs off the couch and search the wall for a clock and groan when I see that it's barely three a.m. I take a minute to study my surroundings. I have to give it to him, for a vampire he is incredibly neat. So much so in fact that I'm afraid to touch anything for fear of putting it out of its place and not being able to get it just right, and in turn I would have the full force of Eric's fury raining down on my head and that is just not something I want. Or need.

Ignoring the desire to snoop on Eric and his bitch of a progeny Pam, I cross to the door and find that there is no noise on the other side, and I hazard a peak finding the club completely empty. I let out a deep breath and slip through the door closing it gently behind me. Time to find the giant blonde pain in my ass and go home. I did my part. I came to Fangtasia, he surely found a meal or two by now, and now he can return me home where I can shower off the residual fang banger desperation and fall blissfully back to sleep in my own bed.

"Eric," I call out tentatively, circling the wide open dance floor and when my own voice echoes back at me I cringe. Do I always sound so, apprehensive? "Eric, I want to go home…" Again there's nothing but me, myself, and I answering back.

Fantastic.

I cross my arms nervously over my chest and continue the search. I walk down the long hallway, checking every door, even the restrooms, though I know he surely wouldn't be in one of them, he has no need, but I am nothing if not thorough. Most of the doors I come across are locked, and with frustration building to a boiling point I stand in front of the last door and I try the handle, pleasantly surprised that this one at least is unlocked.

"Thank God," I murmur pulling it open only to find myself met by stairs and darkness. I pause for a minute, debating with myself. A girl, alone as far as she knows, in an empty vampire club finds herself facing a darkened stair case. There's a warning in this. After all, it's in almost every good horror movie. I steal myself, trying desperately to convince the little voice in my head that is shrieking like a banshee to _'turn the fuck around and get the hell out,_' that I'm being ridiculous, after all, _I'm Eric's_, so surely nothing bad can happen to me in his own club right?

The stairs are cold, so cold in fact that I feel my skin prickling as the first few cautious steps are taken, and to guide myself I clamp an unsteady hand on the iron railing. Somehow I feel like a child sneaking into her parent's bedroom in the middle of the night. The steps seem endless and I'm half tempted to turn back and stick it out in the seemingly deserted Fangtasia until night fall, when I see the faint glow of dingy lighting. A surge of reassurance fills me until I hear it.

The undeniable sound of carnal activity. I freeze, one foot hovering over the last step as I take in Eric, in all his naked glory, giving it to a dazed and beautiful red head. Out of nowhere flaring inside of me is a sick kind of jealousy mixed with wonderment. How is it possible for one man (vampire or not) to be so damn alluring? He's like sex on legs, and the real fucked up part is he knows it. Uses it to manipulate any hot and I'm sure cold blooded female around him.

It raises then, the bile as I realize where I am. The dungeon. As in chains and implements and tools of torture dungeon. First indicator? The chains the nameless red headed floozy grips so hard her knuckles are white. I gulp, a distressing and loud sound and Eric stops, slowly turning his head so that I can just make out his profile in the dim light, and before he can do anything I high tail it away from one of the most disturbing thing I've seen to date and as I flee I realize something.

I'm hurt.

Not physically, though he might as well have slapped me around a little bit, since that's how it feels. My chest aches like a two ton truck has made it a designated parking space and I groan trying to convince myself not to fall apart.

Not here, not like this, not in front of or because of him.

I shouldn't care, that's the only thought that comes to mind when I slip back into the office in search of my clothes and purse.

"I don't care," I say out loud, but it does absolutely nothing to quiet the voice in my head from telling me that I so do care, and it's my own damn fault for getting caught up with Eric and all his damn supernatural drama. Of course I'm not convinced. Of course I care. I have no choice but to care, but I'll be damned if I let Eric know that I care. I finally find my purse and shoes but still my dress is nowhere to be seen, and I decide I'll just have to go without it.

I step into the night air, dragging in a deep breath before crossing the desolate parking lot and sliding into my car, shutting the door. It's so quiet. So still, and in the few moments before I finally manage to turn the key I allow a few tears before continuing to repeat I don't care to myself on the whole drive home.

_**XXX**_

The steam from the shower billows around me, and I scrub my body raw. Not entirely sure why, but I do it anyways, methodically scrubbing away with my hot pink shower poof as the scent of honeysuckle and jasmine swirls around me. I ignore the tears that mix with water, I ignore the burning in my chest, I ignore the idea that I am going to step out of the shower and find Eric waiting to berate me for leaving without him.

So it surprises me when at least the water runs cold and I snap it off and peak around the shower curtain that I find no angry Eric, just steam curling in the air.

"Thank God," I murmur as I wrap a towel around myself before wiping a hand over the mirror. I look terrible. Residual eyeliner streaks my cheeks and my eyes are red and swollen, telltale signs of my shower long sob fest. I groan a sound that comes out as a garbled mess thanks to my stuffed up nose, "Great, just great."

I let out a shaky breath before snapping the light off and heading into my bedroom. My cell phone beeps from the nightstand and I consider ignoring it, almost certain it's Eric, but I can't do that, because it very well could be Payton, or Sookie. I lift my phone and squeeze them shut once when they burn from the brightness of the screen.

'_Madi where the hell are you, I've been trying to get a hold of you all night. Call me.'_

'_I'm really starting to freak out here Madilyn, did Eric finally kill you? Don't think you're fooling me with the bracelet, I know he's been feeding on you. Call me!" _

'_That's it, if you don't call me, text me, or send up a smoke signal soon I'm coming over there…" _

I can't help but smile over the frantic texts from Payton as I hold the phone up to my ear listening to it ring.

"What the hell Madilyn! It's nearly dawn and I'm just now hearing from you! Do you have any idea how worried I was about you?" Payton's voice is loud and shrill as I hold the phone away from my ear as she carries on her tirade.

"I'm sorry. Eric dragged me to Fangtasia, I just got in a while ago, and I was in the shower…" I say cutting myself off because I hear my voice beginning to hitch.

"What was there no cell service there?" she demands and I shake my head rolling my eyes as I pull on my most comfortable pair of pajama pants rolling them a few times before setting my phone on the bed, Payton still continuing her almost maternal in nature lecture about taking my phone and actually checking it at all times, as I slide my arms into a black tank top.

"Are you done yet? Maybe you can tell me why you needed to talk to me, aside from the lecture," I say lightly as I cradle my phone between my ear and shoulder pulling a brush through my hair.

"I'm going home Madi," Payton's words are sudden as is the flash of pain and panic that courses through me and I go numb, the hairbrush tumbling out of my fingers, bouncing off the dresser.

"What? Why? Is Jared okay? P, did something happen?" I ask sinking to the corner of my bed.

"No, Jared's fine Madi, I've been gone for a month and a half, I miss him, he misses me. Skype dates just aren't cutting it anymore if you know what I mean…but I'm going to come back soon, actually we both will when we can manage," she says and I nod my head trying to find my voice, but I can't because it's blocked by the lump in my throat constricting me, "Madi?"

"I…I'm going to miss you P," I say at last and I hear her very poorly covered sniffle on the other end of the line.

**_XXX_**

I hover in front of the door to the basement. I don't know why I'm here, of all places, standing in front of Eric's (temporary) bedroom door. Do I knock? Do vampires require such normal human niceties? I groan turning the handle stepping through the door and find that the basement has been completely transformed. The little box windows that had served as lighting into the rather large space are covered with locked tight steel shutters, a very large bed sitting in the center of the bed, along with other furniture. A large polished to a shine dresser and armoire, a few smooth bookshelves, a night stand with an opened book lying on top. It looks like a completely different basement. Not the once terrifying, cobweb filled room that I wouldn't dare step foot into it, and if it weren't for the fact that Eric is using this space, I would dare to say that it felt warm, welcoming even.

There is no sign of Eric, and suddenly the weight of being completely alone is so overwhelming I can do nothing more than curl up in the center of his bed and close my eyes to wish away the pain.

**_XXX_**

_**Eric's POV**_

All anger towards Madilyn blatantly ignoring a direct order of not going anywhere without me simply disappears when I see her curled in the center of my bed sound asleep. She looks, different. I know I hurt her, and I meant to. As callous as it sounds and may be, she needs to understand that I am, at the end of the day, in control.

I am a cold hearted, masochistic bastard.

I am Vampire.

I have no heart to speak of, and I can see her starting to confuse my protectiveness and propriety over her as actually having any real and meaningful feelings towards her. I can't let her think this way about me since I had let myself feel that way about one other person and she about me and it very nearly cost us both our lives, and with Madi that just isn't a risk I am willing to take. Yet I would be lying if I said that I gained any form of pleasure or happiness from the look on her face when she caught me in the act with Olivia. Or was her name Mary Sue? I shake my head as I move closer to the bed studying Madi's sleeping form.

I should move her. Cradle her in my arms and carry her to her own bed, and as I lift her to do just that she curls against me, her cheek hot against my skin and her hand comes up, covering the spot in my chest where my heart lies un-beating.

"Don't make me go Eric, don't send me away," the sound of Madi calling out to me, speaking my name and begging me to let her stay is so broken that I lay with her pulling her closer to me and resolve that tomorrow night I'll make it up to her.

Damned if I know why.

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><p><strong>Author's Note 2: Yay look at that you finished Chapter Fifteen...okay. So this might be a totally stupid idea (although I really like it) I'm calling it the Name That Pet Contest!<strong>

**Challenge: I want to know what in your opinions would be the perfect song that Eric would use to "woo" or "court" Madilyn. It can be from any time period, any genre, any music that you think would perfectly speak the words Eric would want to use on Madilyn.**

**Rules: All submissions can be made through review or by pming me. It will be open until Midnight of the 22nd of this month (September) I will choose my top 5, and then put it in a poll on my profile where it will be open for voting by all of you until the 24th, at which time a winner will be found!**

**Prize: The winner with the most votes will get to pick Madilyn's mystery pets name and also be written into the chapter. **

**I will announce in the next chapter or update my profile to let you all know what I decide the animal will be, I hope that anyone following this story will choose to participate. If I don't get enough participation I will just close the contest and find a name another way. So with that said, there is a lovely review box down there waiting for all of your lovely words and thoughts. **

**I will LOVE you FOREVER if you use it!**

**No Really, I WILL (: **

**XO~Amber **


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